story of an angel
by silvereyed angel
Summary: a girl gets adopted by JONAS, but she's not what you expect her to be. Can the brothers break through the silence? Story about trust, friendship and finding hope where you least expect it; in love...
1. an angelic girl

**Kay, so, this is story of an Angel**

**I'm warning you now; it's addicting (:**

**heavy themes and stuff, do not own and blah blah..**

**This is just to get to know some about our main characters okay? (:**

**Enjoy please**

'So what was her name again?' Joe asked our mother as we walked in to the orphanage.

'As I told you before, her name is Angela Stevens.' My mom answered him patiently.

'Right... I knew that.' He nodded.

'Sure you did Joe.' I said 'that's why you asked.'

My other brother Kevin laughed. 'Do I detect sarcasm Nicholas?' He asked.

I just grinned at him.

'Come on guys, behave, this is a big day for our family, remember?' our father said also half smiling.

'Right, sorry dad.' Kevin as usual spoke for all of us.

We stopped at a white desk with a bored looking woman sitting behind it.

'We are, um, looking for Ms. Um…' my mother looked at a little paper. 'Ms, McGinger?' She half asked.

The lady behind the desk pointed at a door.

'Through that door, second on the left, room 022.' She said while turning the page of her magazine.

'Well... thank you.' My mother said a bit offended.

I saw Kevin and Joe exchange a look. 'Awkward...' Joe stated.

We walked through the door, into another boring white-grey hallway. It looked sober and cheap.

What a dump to grow up in. I thought, and by the looks my brothers gave the half dead plants and the dusty benches, they thought exactly the same.

My father knocked on a door witch had painted 02 and something witch looked like it once had been a two on it.

'Come in.' a voice told us.

The room behind the door was not much better from the hallway. The only thing that looking recent was the lady sitting at the desk, and she was like what? 55?

'Ah, welcome, you must be the Jonas family! Sit down, sit down. I'm Melanie McGinger.

Welcome to the Sandi ford Orphanage. We're so happy you decided to adopt one of our older children.' She babbled.

My mom smiled at her much better behaviour then what we had just received from the desk-lady.

'Yeah, our boys are all a bit older now and I have always wanted a daughter.' My mom said.

'Oh, I see. Still, I have to ask, don't you want an a bit less, troubled child?' the woman asked hesitantly.

'No, we don't.' my mother spoke again, this time more sharply.

My father coughed and said: 'we'd rather not.'

Joe sighed. 'Can we see her already?!' he asked the lady.

She smiled at him. 'Sure we can, you want to meet your new sister right.'

'Yeah, the new Jonas sister.' Kevin smiled at the word, I had to admit, it sounded good.

'Fine then, fine then, come with me.' Ms. McGinger said.

She led us through several grey-white hallways with too many doors to count. We heard screaming and yelling from playing kids. They all wore a grey uniform, Pants, a pullover and a tie for the boys.

Skirt instead of pants for the girls.

My father started to walk next to Ms. McGinger. 'Can you tell us what exactly happened to the girl?'

Child services couldn't tell us before today and we were all very curious. Maybe her parents died.

Or, like Joe believed she was left behind on the porch on Christmas Eve by a secret spy family, who couldn't keep her, but later would be looking for her.

Of course nobody actually listened to him.

After he asked Ms McGinger looked at my father with an honestly sad expression. She sighed and really seemed worried. You could say a lot about Ms McGinger, but I bet you, that she, deep down, cared a lot about these children.

'Unfortunately we can't, because, well, she won't tell us.'

We looked at her in surprise. 'Sorry?' I said.

'Since the police found her, covered in blood and bruises. She hasn't spoken one word.'

Everybody stopped walking. 'Sorry?' Kevin now asked.

'The investigations tell us that she probably has been abused for several years, probably by her father.

He almost killed her that night. She was lucky someone heard her scream.'

I swallowed, she wasn't kidding when she said the girl was troubled.

'Poor girl.' My mother whispered. 'She won't talk?' Joe asked, you could tell he already started to care about the girl.

Me and Kevin just looked at each other in horror.

'Not a single word, but I promise you will love her. She's such a sweet girl. So polite. Always helps out wherever she can. We don't know where she learned to take care of others that way, but everybody loves her. The toddlers will be sad when she doesn't show up tomorrow.'

That's when she stopped at a door. 'Here it is.' She knocked on the door with one of her rings.

She didn't wait for answer and let us go first.

It was a small room. Just big enough for a bed, a desk and a small closet.

On the desk sat a girl, thé girl, our new sister. She wore the grey uniform, from where I stood it looked awfully to large to fit her. She turned around, a pencil in her hand.

I was the first one to see her; long dark hair fell like a waterfall on her shoulders. Big green eyes watched me curiously from underneath long lashes. She was pale, and as I saw earlier she was extremely skinny.

That didn't matter, I thought she was very, very, pretty. Especially soft look on her face. Easy lovable, it said.

I saw my mother and Joe flash a smile at her, while my father just looked at her with friendly curiosity.

Kevin on the other hand, looked at something behind her.

I lend to the side a bit, trying to find out what he was looking at.

On the desk was a journal. Still open, she had been writing in it.

I wondered what exactly she had been writing. Maybe that journal knew why she was silent.

'Hello, dear, this is the family I told you about. They want to adopt you.' Ms McGinger said.

Her eyes widened, first with shock. After that suspicion. You could tell she didn't trust easily.

Joe, being Joe, stepped forward. 'Hey! I'm Joseph, Joe for short.' He smiled his 'Joe' smile at her.

Her eyes looked him up and down. She ignored his hand and just waved at him.

'You have to be a little careful with her. She doesn't like being touched. We think it's from the beats she got as a child, pretty bad if you ask me.' Ms McGinger whispered.

I shuddered and stepped up. I already wanted to be her brother, protect her,

I felt a strange urge to help her. I didn't know why, I guess she really was easy lovable and with that, she looked incredibly vulnerable…

I didn't reach my hand, but just waved at her. 'Hello there, I'm Nicholas, nick for short. I'm sure you are going to be happy with us. I promise.' I smiled at her, she just waved again. Of course, Kevin was next.

He just smiled at her and said simply: 'I'm Kevin, just Kevin. I'm very glad you are joining our family.'

'We all are.' My mother added and gave the girl her warm mother smile. She looked honestly curious now.

'I'm Denise, your foster mother now. Consider me everything you want, I just want you to know that I, and all of us. Will be there for you, my dear.' The girl nodded a bit distracted, like she didn't really know whether to believe mom or not. Still, she looked a bit relieved.

Our Mom probably remembered her of her own mother. God, I really hoped we could help her.

'Good, you all signed the papers yesterday. All her luggage is packed. I think you are ready to go. If you have any questions call me, you've got my number.' Ms McGinger spoke. 'Sweetie, are you ready to go?' she asked.

The girl nodded, grabbed her journal, but after that shot a nervous glance at us. She looked pretty uncomfortable. Especially in her to big clothes.

'Wow, you're small.' Joe stated. Witch earned him a smack on the back of his head from Kevin.  
I glared at Joe, even though it was true. She WAS small. No bigger than 5.3.

She just stared at Joe, backing away when Ms McGinger went to her closet and pulled out one single, small suitcase out.

I bet you my mother would take her shopping, VERY soon. Taking Joe and Kevin with her, seeing the looks they gave the suitcase…

I walked towards Ms McGinger and offered to carry the suitcase. The girl didn't look like she could carry even this suitcase. In return I got an apologising look. What'd she need to apologise for?

We walked through the grey hallways again, till we reached the main entrance. The woman behind the desk still looked as bored as when we came. I made eye contact with Joe and rolled my eyes. He just smirked. What was he up to?

'Diane?' Ms McGinger asked the desk-lady. 'Would you be so nice to give me the forms 1.304 and 3.237?'

The lady, looking like she rather had stayed and read her magazine said: 'sure, locket 107?' her voice was sharp and sounded a bit like scratching. The kind of sound that gave you Goosebumps. Ms McGinger nodded.

The lady quickly returned with the files. I recognized them. Mom and Dad signed them yesterday.

Ms McGinger gave them to my father and said: 'I wish you the best with her. Please treat her well, she deserves a little love.' My mother nodded and gave her a womanly nod. One of those nods only female minds seemed to understand.

We walked towards the heavy brown front doors. Me and Joe walking on either side of the girl.

'So sweetie, you are part of the family now. What should we call you while you're with us?' my mother said to her. She shrugged, of course she couldn't tell us, because she didn't or couldn't speak.

'What about we call you Angel? You are such a beautiful girl, and to us you are an angel from heaven.'

The girl looked up in surprise, recognition in her eyes. 'That's clear then. We call you Angel for now.'

My mother nodded and the girl, Angel, nodded back. She seemed happy with her name.

'Cool, I like it, It suites you, but, has anybody seen my fake spider?' Joe said. Looking around for it in his pockets. We all shrugged. Joe could be so weird sometimes. Still, we all loved him.

'Angel?' I said and she looked up to me. 'Welcome to the family.' I told her warmly.

She looked at me, something I couldn't quite place visible on her face.

Then suddenly, we heard a scream from behind us. A sharp, nails scratching a blackboard like scream.

'Guess she found it.' Joe said smugly.

A smile appeared on Angel's face. I looked at it in awe and saw Joe's mouth fall open as well.

She had an angelic smile…

**There you have it****... **

**So watcha think?? ****As you could see, I'll use the normal names, not Lucas or Grey. Shane, Nate etc.**

**I'm not sure what pairings I will use in this one****... suggestions are welcome!**

**Probably Stella, Macie and others will be in the coming chapters. So should I let Joe and Stella secretly like each other, what about Kev and Macie? **

**Any suggestions for the story will be helpful and considered for the story**

**Your wish is my command!**


	2. a devil dream

**Okay, here we go with chapter ****two**

**Story of an angel**

Nick PoV

I stepped out of the car, stretching my muscles from the long ride home.

Behind me, someone, I think it was Joe, helped Angel get out of the car.

I turned around, wondering how she would react on our big fire house.

She looked up at it. Eyes full of curiosity, this obviously didn't remember her of her past.

I chuckled and turned around, but Kevin beat me to the trunk of the car. He already had Angel's suitcase in his hand.

'come on sweetie, we'll show you around the house.' My mother told her sweetly.

The girl, Angel, looked at her and nodded.

When we were all inside we gave Angel a tour around the house. She took everything up in her, as if trying to remember it for later. I didn't know why, but it made me feel good. It meant she was planning on staying with us. Witch meant she thought we were pretty nice.

Or at least not as bad as she previously had lived through.

When we were in the kitchen, about to show her where her room would be, the door suddenly got thrown open.

Angel crouched and backed away from the sound. Eyes wide open.

'Shh!' we all hissed at the newcomer.

It was Stella, our fashion designer and good friend of the family since Joe spilled his drink on his shirt in kindergarten and Stella was the only one nice enough to help him.

'where is she, is she here yet, I want to meet her. What's she like!' Stella squealed, not paying attention to our hisses. Angel almost fell back until her back hit the wall. Stiff as a statue. Like someone was going to attack her.

'Stella!' 'SHHH!' 'you're scaring her!' Me, Joe and Kevin exclaimed.

Stella noticed Angel, standing against the wall. My father trying to calm her.

'it's okay, Stella is a friend, nobody is going to hurt you.' He assured her, holding his hands palm side up. Showing her he wasn't going to do anything.

She didn't relax, but looked at Stella suspiciously. Stella herself wore a really worried and guilty expression on her face. 'I'm sorry!' she whispered. 'I didn't wanted to scare you, I'm Stella.'

Angel relaxed, now sure that Stella wasn't her father or anyone who had did to her whatever happened to her.

Angel shot an apologetic look at Stella, softly nodding her head and waving.

Stella waved back, a huge relieved smile on her face. After that she faced us.

'talk, now?' she half ordered half asked.

Joe started to explain. ' she's our new sister, Angel.'

Stella, being Stella, exclaimed: 'really, she is?! She's so cute, and pretty! What happened to her, is she damaged. Poor thing! Why didn't she answer me? She isn't deaf is she!?' She kept on rattling until Joe grabbed her by her shoulders and said: ' STELLA! Calm down please, or you won't get any answers.'

'oops.' Stella pretended to zip her mouth and threw the key away.

'you see, we don't really know what happened to her…'

'what?'

'stella!'

'oh, sorry, continue…'

'we don't really, we only know she was found covered in blood, cuts and bruises. Probably abused by someone, her father most likely and beaten half to death. She's silent because, well, she won't talk. She just doesn't.' I finished the explanation, since Joe had put his hands over Stella's mouth.

'Jo, num calet no noh!' she mumbled. 'what?' He asked and released her.

'I said: Joe, you can let go now!' she told him. She turned to us. 'Poor girl.' She said. 'Poor little thing, she looks so vunerable and she's so small! How could somebody do that to her!'

'that's why she's with us now Stells.' I said. 'Just be careful around her. She's not used to us and very scared.'

'promise!' Stella crossed her fingers.

We all walked back to the kitchen where mom and Angel were sitting, glasses of juice in front of them. My father got a call from someone and was standing in the doorway.

'oh, there you are!' my mother said and turned to Angel. 'would you like to see your room now?' she asked.

Angel nodded, a little bit eager. Once she must have been a happy girl.

'you mind me coming?' Stella asked, biting her lip. Once again Angel moved her head, this time to shake her head no quickly.

'mind us coming?' I asked joking. She made a huffing sound, almost laughter as she shook no again.

So we walked up the stairs and another, she got a room above us, the one across Frankie's. He was at our Grandma's place right now. My parents thought that would be better, not to many people at once…

I opened the door and let her go in. It was a very pretty room. Not girly, nor was it boring. It was white with silver and some purple. A pretty large bed was standing on the left side of the room. A desk and a closet across from the door witch let the right side a bit open, only having some shelves on the wall. There were two windows, one above her desk and one left from her bed.

She looked around, curious and interested. Then she turned around, eyes wondering. Was this all hers? 'It's yours sweetie, you can do anything you want with it.'

Angel walked towards my mom and shyly touched her on her shoulder with her hand. She quickly pulled away, but it was the first touch she made since the orphanage. My mom looked flattered. 'you haven't seen the coolest thing yet!' Joe couldn't hold it in anymore and pointed to a hatch in the floor. She gazed upon him curiously.

'Is that what I think it is?' Stella asked. 'yep!' Joe smiled at her, and Kevin gave her a wink.

I walked to the hatch and pulled it open revealing the slide.

'you can slide down on this and you'll end up in our room, it's really handy.' I explained.

'If something is wrong, or you just want to get down quick this comes in real handy.' Kevin continued.

'you'll never be alone, not really, only if you want to.' Joe finished.

A tear ran over her cheek. She looked at us. Recognation, even, relief in her eyes.

She thanked us in her own way and smiled. A thankful smile. I think for a lot of things. Unspoken and probably would never be spoken.

'you've got your own small bathroom outside in the hallway is a door that leads to it. You can hang your clothes in your closet and put your stuff anywhere you want.' My mother spoke. 'we're going to let you get settled now, but we will be right downstairs if you need us.'

She nodded, thankful for the time to let not only her stuff but also her new experiences settle down. Kevin got her her suitcase and we all went downstairs.

'that went pretty well didn't it.' My mother spoke happy. 'it sure did, she's very nice.' I smiled. 'yeah, she is isn't she?' Stella grabbed Joe at his wrist. 'Now, come with me, I've got some clothes for you to try on and I need you to tell me everything that happened!'

Nobody was surprised by this, Stella and Joe were the best of friends.

Mom went downstairs to and Kevin left me to go and polish his new guitar.

So I just settled with my guitar on the couch. Writing, It calmed me down and music just seemed needed right now.

I started playing and within moments I forgot about my surroundings.

_Don't speak, to me_

_Don't speak, to me_

_There's a lot that you don't notice_

_When you read between the lines_

_The future's out of focus_

_When you're blinded by the lights_

There I got stuck with the lyrics, and just played the song that had been in my head, I don't know since when, it just was there.

While I was playing, I noticed Angel coming down the stairs. She looked around curious, as if to see where the sound came from.

When she spotted me, she stood still for a while.

Slowly coming closer, she finally sat on the ground a meter or two away from me.

I continued playing, she seemed to like it, as she closed her eyes and rested her head on her arms, hugging her knees.

I softly started to sing the lyrics I just wrote, wondering what she would think about them.

She watched me with big green eyes, just listening. When I stopped she slowly approached me. stretched her arm and stopped just before the notebook lying in front of me.

She looked at me, asking for permission to take it. I smiled at her and she grabbed the notebook and the pencil and started to write something down. It took a while and after that she laid it back. Front side down and smiled at me before she left to go upstairs once again.

I flipped the textbook and looked at what she had written.

I thought I was cool  
But I just looked a fool for so long,  
Now you're gone, now you're gone,

Don't speak to me,

don't speak to me

I recall all the fights  
Most of all, all the times where you would lie in my arms  
Now you're gone, you're gone  
Don't speak to me, don't be lying

There's a lot you don't notice  
when you read between the lines  
The future's out of focus,  
when you're blinded by the light.  
It's a hope for all the hopeless  
In the worst of trying times  
I resort to being speechless  
Cause our love won't survive  
Our love won't survive

Don't speak a word  
Don't speak to me,

don't speak to me

There's a lot you don't notice  
when you read between the lines  
The future's out of focus,  
when you're blinded by the light.  
It's a hope for all the hopeless  
In the worst of trying times  
I resort to being speechless  
Cause our love won't survive

I was stunned, the lyrics were beautiful. Seemed to come straight from the heart.  
Could it be, was this something from her heart?

I stared at the words: 'I resort to being speechless.'

Had she chosen not to speak? Was she one of the 'hopeless'?

I looked at the lyrics over and over again.

Wondering, what could've happened to her.

'Guys, dinner!' my mother called.

'Coming!' I yelled back. I put the notebook and my guitar down and slided down my pole.

Angel was already sitting on the kitchen table. Kevin and mom on either of her sides. I sat down in between Kevin and Joe while dad put down the plates for dinner.

'enjoy sweetie, eat good.' My mom said to Angel.

She took a bite from the plate, and another, and another.

In no time she ate her whole plate. Eyes sparkling.

I couldn't help but laugh. So did Joe and Kevin. Even mom and dad couldn't hold back a smile.  
Angel just blushed and played with her fork and spoon.

'there's more where that came from.' My mother laughed and gave her a second portion.

She ate it, but half ways she stopped. Rubbing her stomach.

She probably wasn't used to eat so much.

I reached out to grab the pan with food for the second time and accidentally dropped the lit, witch gave a loud noise.

Angel reacted immediately, stiffening as if something were about to hit her.  
'I'm sorry.' I said. 'it's just a lit, it's okay.' I assured her.

Joe grabbed the lit from the ground and showed it to her.

'there's nothing to worry about.' My father said. 'you will be completely safe here.'

She relaxed, but after that refused the pudding.

That night me and Joe watched some TV while Kevin was doing an essay about his guitar, again. Dad had gone out again and mom was to her book-club, apperantly there was an emergency. We had been told to take very, very good care of Angel until she came back.

Angel herself was sitting in a comfy chair. Hugging her legs to her chest. Staring at nothing in particular. We asked her if she wanted something, but she refused.

When the movie we were watching was about half way, Angel stood up and pointed up.

We looked at her in confusion and she put her hands at the side of her head.

She was going to bed. I nodded at her and Joe decided to guide her upstairs.

After he came down and he told me he showed her her bathroom and gave her one of the new toothbrushes we continued the movie.

Joe fell asleep at about three quarters of it and the movie didn't really interested me anyways so I decided to check on my sister, it felt so good to even think that.

I walked upstairs, saying hi to Kevin who was going to bed too and eventually softly opened the door of her room.  
I heard her breathe, rather quickly and heavy.

I walked in the room and tried to look through the dark. Eventually I could focus on her, moving and turning in her bed.  
I walked closer, little pearls of sweat blinked on her body. Barely covered in thin pyjama's.

She huffed into her pillow and turned again. Mouth open, like she was going to scream.

She was having a nightmare.

I acted on instinct (brotherly instinct??) and grabbed her hand.

I softly held it. Whispering soft words.

Surprisingly it calmed her and I continued to sit there, holding her hand. Assuring her that everything was going to be all right.

Would it be? I thought. Would we really be able to help her?

A line from the song entered my head, _now you're gone, now you're gone._

Who was gone, did she lost someone?

I slowly drifted away. Still stroking the back of her hand softly.

Whoever she lost. I was going to help her. We were going to help her.

We would..

Hell yeah, we would…

**The end, dum dum dum!**

**So don't cha thing that was cute?**

**I thought so! **

**You want to know what happened, or not?**

**Well you just have to wait till I update! Mwahaha!**

**Wich will probably not be tomorrow…**

**I'ma bit busy… **

**Please review, it makes me work so much faster!**

**Love, silver**


	3. Heaven in hearts

**Okay here's chapter three!  
I worked hard on it, so please review me.**

**I really need to know what you think!**

**So, I got this sweet! Treat for you in this chapter ******

**Because…**

**It has a short Angel PoV piece!!**

**Story of an angel**

Angel PoV.

Slowly, I opened my eyes, watching in confusion at the silverish with purple print sealing.

That wasn't the white-grey rubbish from the orphanage…

Slowly I started to recall the previous day. A family had come to adopt me. I was brought to this big house and could sleep in this beautiful room. Got the most delicious food ever served and could sleep in this comfortable bed.

Witch had something in it…

I quickly looked to my side, almost crawling away to the farthest end of the bed, like I used to do. Luckily I could control myself and I just stared at what I saw.

A boy, one of my new 'brothers' was half sitting half lying next to my bed.

It was the curly haired one, the first I had seen when they walked in to my room. The one I saw playing his guitar yesterday.

He was holding my hand loosely. Fast asleep with his head on my blanket.

I couldn't help but smile, being surprised with myself. That smile had been buried a long time a go. Never to be dug up again, but since yesterday it was here again. Playing on my lips. As if implying that I could heal from the scar inside.

I always thought, no, I KNEW that that wasn't going to happen, but since yesterday…

They had walked in to my room with Ms McGinger.  
The curly haired, friendly looking and probably the youngest first. Followed by who was his older brother, more flat haired, with a nice shaped face.

After that came an older couple, not that old, just from my perspective. They had been the parents. The door was closed by the oldest son, also curly haired and very good looking, like all of them had been.

They looked so friendly and happy. How could they be so generous to take someone as damaged as me? I didn't speak, nor did I laugh before that day and I thought they wouldn't take me because of that.  
I also thought I wouldn't want to go living with them, but it turned out I was wrong. About a lot of things.  
Like the thing, called a smile, that I had thought to never see again, until they had gotten me relaxed and feeling welcome. The middle brother, Joe? He had pulled a prank on the stupid clerk Diana. Someone I did not like very much.

She had made fun of me, knowing I wouldn't get back on her. Trying to fit in by pushing me out. I had laughed with the warm welcoming glow from the family wrapped around me.

It had quickly vanished in the car, when I thought about the last time I had felt so safe and warm. I rather felt cold, then feel that pain, but it was there. Restless, always ready to jump on me. Always ready to tear open the wounds.

There I was, silent and damaged. So friendly adopted by this family.

I started to feel hope, but quickly buried it. Knowing about the pain it would give.

Burying it even deeper when I scared their friend. By backing away, when she only reached her hand, but I had seen such a raised hand more then enough times in my life, the hands that had hurt me, the hands that had... I couldn't even think about it.

I was feeling guilty, I was sure they wouldn't like me anymore, but she had apologised to ME and everybody still acted caring and interested in me.

I was feeling uncomfortable by the attention, but it also felt… good, in a way  
they had shown me this room. Where I had tired all up, because of the effort they had made.

The glide to make me feel less alone, had me knowing they would be within reach.

The comfy bed, it felt like their warm welcome. I had no idea how to thank them.  
So I didn't. I couldn't. They were strangers, weren't they? I tried to touch the mother. She seemed to like it and I was amazed by how warm she felt.

I had observed them, at doing what they normally did. I watched the mother doing the laundry. Remembering how my mother always used to do that, so I quickly left.

I spotted the older brother polishing his pretty looking guitar. I wanted to go and look as he did, until he started to drink from a bottle. Only a coke filled one, but I couldn't look at it.

I watched the father make some phone calls. Looking at him pacing around until I had heard the music. It had sounded from up the stairs. A beautiful song, played on a guitar.

I had walked up the stairs and saw the youngest Jonas sitting on a sofa, looking really concentrated. His name was Nick, I remembered that.

I sat in the corner of the room, watching him.  
At one point he started singing

_Don't speak, to me_

_Don't speak, to me_

_There's a lot that you don't notice_

_When you read between the lines_

_The future's out of focus_

_When you're blinded by the lights_

I listened to the song, wondering, was this song. This wonderful song, inspired by me.

Cause it certainly fitted. Words came running in to my head as I listened to his beautiful voice. I walked to the place where he was sitting and wrote down the words in my head.

The words that fitted me, seemed to come right of my soul.

That night, after sitting with my new brothers I couldn't hold it anymore. I went to bed, escorted by Joe, the middle boy. The one with the smile almost plastered on his face.

He was really nice to me, showing me around and giving me everything I would need at night. He didn't know I never slept well, ever. After he went downstairs I curled up in the unfamiliar bed. Remembering, hearing his voice. My whole body aching, pain came in waves while my body was trembling until I fell asleep. Dreaming about his voice, his eyes, everything that had happened. I dreamed suffering and pain.

It was different from other nights, usually I woke up. Straight in bed, sweating all over my body, about to scream. Never actually doing that.

This time, the dream covered in shadows, staring eyes and a constant frightening feeling. It changed into something less painful, memory like, bright smiles and happy memories I had forgotten until then. It hurt reliving them, but I was grateful for having them. They made me remember it hadn't always been bad; it hadn't always been hell on earth.  
I had been in heaven, with my own angel.

Stephen.

Nick PoV

When I woke up, I found myself in an unfamiliar place. My head resting on something soft, while my knees and legs were kneeling down on a hard underground.

My hand was resting, holding, something very soft, but cold.

I opened my eyes and realised I was in Angel's room. I was holding her hand, her skin soft, her eyes open.

I stared at her, wondering how she would react. She seemed okay with our touch.

Her eyes found mine and she softly squished my hand and after that slid out of the covers.

She was wearing an old baby blue long sleeved t shirt and white long sweats. She walked out quickly, bare footed. I smiled; she really wasn't used to this.

I walked to her closet and grabbed a pair of fuzzy slippers. I decided to bring them to her; I didn't want her to get sick because of the cold. Outside I saw Kevin and Joe, probably looking for me. 'Hey man, where have you been?' Kevin asked, eyebrows rising.

'I stayed with Angel last night, she had nightmares and I fell asleep next to her bed.'

Joe smiled. 'Good thinking bro.' he praised me and then pointed to the slippers. 'Those aren't yours are they?' I laughed 'no, they're Angel's actually. Did you notice she's very cold?'

'Oh, good and no I didn't noticed. We should bring them to her; we would be really bad brothers if we would let her get sick.' Kevin grabbed the slippers from my hands and grinned.

I rolled my eyes and walked to the door. I opened it and peeked around the corner.

My eyes widened and I gasped, releasing the door that flung open.

She stood there, with her bare back facing us.

She was incredibly thin and small as I noticed before, but standing there, she looked even thinner, but that wasn't why I gasped.

It was because of the wounds…

On her lower back, ribs and neck were all kinds of scars, badly healed cuts and bruises, even things that looked like stabbing wounds covering the pale silk like skin.

I heard Kevin and Joe inhale too. Looking at her obviously hurt skin. Joe even had steady himself, grabbing the door.

She looked, so hurt! So vulnerable and I cringed at the idea of what must have happened to her. Rage pounded through me. What kind of monster would do such a thing!

Kevin shoved the slippers in Joe's hands and slowly approached her. 'Angel, what happened to you?'

She turned around, eyes wide in shock, her shin long sleeved T-shirt covering her chest.

I understood why she was wearing long sleeves now. To hide the scars, now also clearly visible on her arms, no doubt they were on her legs too.

She just stood there, looking at us. Eyes blank, no emotion showing.

Like she wasn't there.

I grabbed the bathrobe hanging behind the door and walked towards Kevin, Joe moving with me. Without speaking he kneeled to the ground softly putting the slippers on her feet while I draped the bathrobe over her shoulders. She just looked at the ground, eyes still blank.

'I'm gonna get mom.' Kevin said before turning around and hurrying downstairs.  
Joe got up and slowly touched Angel on her shoulders. 'Angel, come back to us, we won't hurt you. We couldn't, we will never!' he whispered.  
No reaction, nothing at all. 'Angel… Angel?' I said, louder then Joe, but still whispering. 'Angel… trust me, trust us. We love you!'

She looked up, locked eyes with Joe, almost to ask if what I said was true. He nodded.

'Come.' He said softly and she let him guide her out of the bathroom towards the stairs.

When we came down, we almost hit a very worried dad, closely followed by mom. 'What happened?' he demanded. 'Nothing happened.' I assured him. 'We found her, we saw her and she saw us seeing her.'

Dad looked at me confused. I sighed. This wasn't my secret to tell.

'Angel?' I asked looking at her. 'Angel, please, trust us. They love you too, already. Show them, please?'

I asked her, not demanded. She had the choice. She looked at me, slowly nodding and turning around, letting the bathrobe slip off her shoulders. It fell in a circle down her feet.  
The three of us looked away. I didn't need to see their reactions, they would be shocked, I knew that, but I was still anxious.

I heard my father moan while my mother let out an 'oh!' I looked up, saw tears run over my moms cheeks. My father trying really hard to hold them back. 'What? How? Who!' he muttered.

'We don't know dad. Only she does. We found her like this.'

'Poor dear!' my mother sobbed. Funny that she was crying, I figured Angel should be crying, she was the one getting hurt in a sick, life threatening way.

She was here, the blankness had vanished, but her emotions seemed locked away very, very deep.

After that we tried to help her as much as possible. We took her to the doctor, who told us she was hurt but her body would heal completely, except for the scars. She would hold them the rest of her life.  
We tried to make her feel better, so we decided to take her shopping.

We ended up in a small mall, we figured Angel wouldn't like the crowd, but she didn't mind. Probably because the only place she had been safe in her previous life was in a crowd, too many witnesses to do anything. My mom dragged us to various clothing stores. Where she got her long sleeved t-shirts, better pyjamas, jeans, shoes and much more. She seemed happy with the clothes, treating them really carefully.

We took her with us to the music shop, where she looked around in awe, because it hade even more musical instruments then we had. She even tried to pick up an electrical guitar, but got quickly put it down when it made a loud sound. She hadn't noticed it was plugged in.

After that we went sneaker shopping. Dad bought her 4 pairs; witch was very smart of him, because mom bought her quite a few high heeled shoes. I think I even saw a box reading Stiletto's. I just laughed at it.

Yes, she was shy, but I didn't think she would wear something she didn't want to wear.  
In the mall we also met Stella and Macie. Macie trying to hide quickly when she saw us, but was being held securely by Stella's trained hands. We talked a bit and Angel looked comfortable around Stella, Macie too. I think she found Macie funny. We said goodbye and went to an electronics shop, while Stella and Macie were going to the bookstore on the other side. Of course after Macie got brave and snapped a picture of us.  
I saw Angel looking after them, to the bookstore. Scanning it, but looking away, almost regretful.

So I pulled Kevin's sleeve and whispered: 'Kev! Can you fetch me some money, I need to do something.'

He looked at me strange, but gave me the money. He knew I would give it back to him. I approached Angel straight. Knowing she wouldn't like me sneaking up on her. I asked her to go with me.

She looked confused, but trusted me. Her eyes widened when she realised where we were.

She looked at the books, one by one. Eager, even more then last night at dinner. Grabbing books, reading the summaries and after that grabbing another.  
Sometimes she would hold a book a bit longer, sigh and then put it back. She wasn't even asking if she could have one. I secretly grabbed three books she looked at even longer then the rest and paid for them.  
She walked up at me, eyes shining, like when she had been looking at me this morning. I wondered, was I just as good as books, or were the books just as good as me? I smiled and showed her the bag; she held her breath, eyes widened. The made a quick movement, almost like she wanted to hug me.

'They're yours.' I said to her and gave her the bag. She didn't let go of it the whole time.

We went back to our family; mom had bought her a cell phone. Now put securely away in her pocket after mom had explained how it worked. All of our numbers and emergency things already on it.

Everybody, especially Angel was getting really tired. So we decided to go home, but we didn't put one step out of the mall, when we were surrounded by screaming fans, flashing lights and people everywhere. I instinctively looked at Angel, making sure she was all right. I noticed everybody had done the same. I mean, you couldn't let anything happen to her, it wasn't an option. She was okay, but really scared by the crowd, but then again, who wouldn't be? It was really weird, the past two days it seemed just like we weren't the world famous Jonas Brothers, but now people were screaming at us: 'Nick! You're so HOT!' 'MARRY ME KEVIN!' 'JOE, WE LOVE YOU!'

My ears started to peep. My eyes focused on a tall figure making his way through the crowd. It was big Rob.

'Thank god, Rob, you're a saviour!' my mother sighed. We all relaxed when Rob came. Except for Angel of course, but she didn't know big Rob.

He quickly got us to the crowd, nobody hurt of course. He got through the screaming fans as if it were nothing. Me, Kevin and Joe just waved and smiled. We loved our fans, really, but they were really intense sometimes.

Angel looked at big Rob amazed. She was impressed. I laughed at her expression. 'Thanks Rob.' We all told him when he guided us to the limo waiting. Big Rob smiled and told us he had expected as much.

He was the best bodyguard ever.

So we all got home safely, but exhausted. Me and Kevin brought the shopping bags to our rooms, because Joe had asked Angel to come with him.

I had an Idea where he was going to take her, and I thought it was a really good idea.

Joe PoV

I saw Nick smile at me, he already knew where I was going, we understood each other so well!  
But hey, that's what brothers are for, aren't they? Just as big brothers are there to help their little sister feel good. I lead her up the stairs and walked to the window. She shot me a look that said: 'you're crazy.' And I just smiled at her. I stepped out of the window, on to the metal stairs, coming with the firehouse.

She followed me. Looking around. We walked al the way up. To the roof.  
The Brothers place. Me and my brothers loved that place. You could just lie down and look at the stars; it was really quiet and quite comfortable too.

She looked around and up to the skies. 'Pretty isn't it?' I smiled at her and she nodded eagerly.

She started to examine the roof. Once again remembering it. I let her be and sank down on one of the blanket's we put up there. After a while she came sitting next to me.

I think she tried to tell me something. She was pointing at her mouth and throat. I eventually understood she meant singing. 'You want me to sing?' She nodded, waiting. I think she wanted to know if I could sing just as well as Nick. So I started to sing softly.

_Young hearts  
I believe that we are not far  
From becoming who we truly are  
Love is on its way_

Dreamers  
You see everything in _colour  
While the world is getting darker  
Love is on its way_

So hold on another day  
'Cause love is on its way  
You'll find it's gonna be okay  
'Cause love is on its way

It's alright you'll find a brighter day  
'Cause love is on its way

Leaders  
Show us how to love each other  
It could help us to recover  
Love is on its way

Lonely  
I believe that you will find me  
And together we will truly see  
Love is on its way, yeah

So hold on another day  
'Cause love is on its way  
You'll find it's gonna be okay  
'Cause love is on its way

It's alright you'll find a brighter day  
'Cause love is on its way

Yeah!  
Yeah!

Hold on another day  
'Cause love is on its way  
You'll find it's gonna be okay  
'Cause love is on its way

It's alright you'll find a brighter day  
'Cause love is on its way  
'Cause love is on its way  
'Cause love is on its way

When I stopped singing I saw Angel had fallen asleep next to me. So I picked my little sister up in my arms and brought her down. I saw Kevin, my father and my mother smiling at me, while Nick gave me the thumbs up.

I brought her upstairs and laid her down in bed after I put her shoes next to it. I smiled. She looked okay right now, I thought as I walked to the door. I hoped she would be okay tomorrow, because she would be all alone with mom. The Jonas Brothers had to record a new song.

I closed the door softly behind me.

_I got followed by blank eyes, blank eyes full of anger. Screams, not even coming from me echoing all around me. I tried to run away, or get to someone. I knew I wouldn't be fast enough. I knew I wouldn't make it._

_Pain in my ribs from running, pain in my back. A knife sticking out of it. Tears ran over my cheeks._

_Until the pain suddenly stopped and a pair of hands reached for me. Were they trustable, or would they pull me in to more pain?_

_I grabbed the hands, familiar, warm hands. _

_It was okay, everything was going to be fine. The hands wouldn't let me go_

**Sigh, okay, the last part was nice wasn't it.**

**So, did you like it? **

**REVIEW! Please? : Puppy pout:**

**Love, silver**


	4. tears from an angel

**Chapter four :wiggles eyebrows:**

**Mehehe, I did it again.**

**This story is dedicated to YOU!**

**Yeah, you, the one who is reading right now…**

**So, I'm not going to ruin the ending of this chapter with ****an Author's note. **

**So I'm saying this now.**

**About the Macie part in the beginning and some later, I hadn't really thought about a Macie/someone pairing, but it works with the story I got in mind.  
I hope you like my story and as I said before, this is dedicated to you…**

**All I ask is for you, to push that button down below and review me.**

**It's really important for me to know how you feel about my story, it doesn't need to be a long one, just tell me if you think it's good or not.**

**That's it for now, go! Read!**

**Enjoy**

**Story of an angel**

Joe PoV

_Pick up all your tears  
Throw em in your backseat  
Leave without a second glance  
Somehow I'm to blame  
For this never-ending racetrack you call life_

Turn right  
Into my arms  
Turn right  
You won't be alone  
You might  
Fall off this track sometimes  
Hope to see you on the finish line

Driving all your friends  
At a speed they cannot follow  
Soon you will be on your own  
Somehow I'm to blame  
For this never-ending racetrack you call life

Turn right (turn right)  
Into my arms  
Turn right (turn right)  
You won't be alone  
You might (you might)  
Fall off this track sometimes  
Hope to see you at the finish line

I did all I could  
And I gave  
Everything  
But you had to go your way  
And that road was not for me

Turn right  
Into my arms  
Turn right  
You won't be alone  
You might (you might)  
Fall off this track sometimes  
Hope to see you at the finish line

I sang the last words into the microphone as Kevin let the last chords on his guitar fade away. The song had gone perfectly.

'Yeah!' Nick exclaimed. We had been on the same line the entire time.

'Wow, that was awesome, guys, we are good!' Kevin replied enthusiastically.

It was true, we sang, not a note out of line. Absolutely perfect. Like we weren't only saying lyrics and strumming some notes on instruments.

We had been singing, to something, as if we wanted to say a very important thing to a very important… I don't know. I just was very happy; I didn't think we had to do this song again. It wasn't going to get any better then this.

We were recording songs in a sound studio somewhere in LA. We had almost finished all of the songs. We were tired, but satisfied.

I walked to the table and grabbed a bottle of water.

'Joe, you're drinking like your life depends on it.' Nick chuckled.

'Duh, I am. You need water to stay alive dumbass.' I teased back; I knew he couldn't stand it when I was playing all smartass. As I predicted, he rolled his eyes, but laughed.

Thom, the one who had been leading our recordings all day, Stella, of course, and Macie, who had been invited by Stella, came walking in.

'Wow, that last song was so good, guys. I'm impressed.' Stella said smiling.

Macie just sighed and looked at us like she saw heaven itself.

Thom chuckled. 'Yeah, you were great guys, what about we call it a day and you can spend the rest of your time as you like it.'

The three of us, me Kevin and Nick, high fived. 'oh, yeah!' I yelled. Thom grinned at us. 'Don't forget, we are continuing tomorrow, understood?'

I saluted. 'Sir, yes, sir!' everybody laughed, of course, at my joke and we said goodbye to the sound people

'So, why didn't you bring your new sister over?' Stella asked as I held open the door for her, them.

'We wanted her to have some quality time with mom, get used to the house and stuff.' Kevin froze and we all stopped to look at her.

'You've got a sister?' she shrieked wide eyes. 'Yeah, we adopted her, you should meet her. She's absolutely adorable.'

Macie started to jump up and down. All of our heads following her, so it looked like we were bouncing our heads on a beat. 'What's her name, how old is she; does she like your music?' Macie asked feverishly. I frowned at Stella, she just shrugged and laughed.

'Her name is Angela, she's about fifteen and I think she likes our music, yes, you really should meet her.'

'Oh, my, god! I have to post this on all the fan-websites!' Her hand flung to her cell phone.

'NOOOO!' We all screamed. I saw Kevin lunge at her, reaching for the phone, as everything seemed to move in slow motion.  
Kevin, bumping in to Macie, trying to get the phone, knocking her over. The phone flung out of her hands and landed in the grass. Danger now gone, as it was now lying in the green, but the force of Kevin's lunge didn't fade away with that.

They both fell over, Kevin trying to grab something, Macie just staring at his face, surprised. They hit the ground, Macie on her back, Kevin partly on top of her. Hands on both sides of her head, so he wouldn't squish her.

'Macie, I'm so sorry.' He said. He looked at her, trying to see if he had hurt her.

''s okay.' She smiled sheepishly.

Kevin rolled off of her, faint blush on his cheeks.

That's when I couldn't hold it anymore, this was just too hilarious. I started laughing.

Everybody looked weird at me, before Stella and Nick started to laugh too.

Kevin and Macie quickly followed and in the matter of seconds we were all rolling on the ground, laughing.  
We eventually stopped, after what seemed quite a long time.

'Macie, you can come with us to our house and meet her, as long as you don't tell anybody else. Unless we, or her, tell you otherwise, okay?' Nick said while he took her hand and pulled her up.

Macie nodded, a bit embarrassed, but looking thrilled at the idea of coming to our house.  
She was and stayed our biggest fan.

Nick PoV

We all drove home in the limo. We had fun, with our little group of friends. I wondered what Angel had been doing all day. I hoped she was okay.

I realised Angel was the number one thing on my mind the last couple of days. I thought about it, looking out of the window. It was getting dark. Scary dark. I wondered if Angel was afraid of the dark. Probably not. She wasn't scared; she just was in pain, pain I couldn't even imagine.  
The limo stopped and we all climbed out. Macie, still thrilled she got to hang out with us, tripped and Kevin had to pull her up once again.

We walked inside and saw Angel and mom busy in the kitchen. I smiled; it looked so in place, mom and daughter making dinner together. 'Hey kiddo, hey mom' Joe said. 'What's for dinner?'

Our mom and Angel turned around. I just had to notice that Angel's eyes lit up when she saw us. She turned to us, almost as if she wanted to go and greet us. She didn't, of course. I could understand. After the physical contact she had known, I wouldn't like to be touched either.

'How 'bout you give me a kiss first and then I tell you what's for dinner?' my mom sternly, but smiling told Joe. He smiled back a similar smile. He so got his smile from mom.

He gave her a kiss on her cheek and she chuckled. 'Hi, Stella, Macie! How are you?'

'Fine, Ms Jonas. How about you?' Stella smiled.

'I'm good, so is Angel, we had a nice day today, didn't we. She has been a great help and has read all of the books you gave her Nick.' My mom went back to her dinner cooking. 'You guys staying for dinner Stella?'

'I'd love to Ms Jonas, so does Macie, doesn't she?' She gave Macie a stern look.

'Oh, yeah, of course, I'd love to.' Macie said nervous.

'Come on Mac, relax, see us as friends rather then your favourite band okay?' Kevin said.

'Oh, okay, I'll try.' I rolled my eyes at that, I really hoped so. Macie was a nice girl, when she wasn't being all fan girl like.

All of a sudden, Angel pulled my sleeve, very short and very soft. I looked at her and she pointed at some plates. 'Oh, sure, we'll make the table.' I said. Everybody looked confused, because it seemed like I was talking to nobody. I rolled my eyes. 'Angel asked.'

Everybody made an 'O' with their mouths and quickly started to help me with the table. Or actually, taking over that task, so I just stayed with Angel, while she put another few ingredients in the pasta we were eating tonight.

'You had a good day?' I asked. She nodded happily in reply. Looking at me, slightly smiling.

'Good, me to.' She made a turning movement with her hand that said: 'what did you do?'

'Well, we started with some jamming, that's making sure the instruments are making the right sound and after that we started to record some music, that was really…' I started to explain what my day had been about, absent minded, taking over the huge pan of food she was carrying. Putting it on the table.

We had a really nice evening, sitting and laughing with each other. Angel happily in it, listening to conversations and giving people moor food if they wanted.  
She herself ate a whole plate; my mother praised her for that. In her files had been a note about how little she ate. Probably one of the causes why she was so skinny, I hoped she would gain some weight.

After dinner Stella and Macie said goodbye, Mace had a volleyball game tonight and Stella was going to watch. 'You really should come over more Mac. You're a good friend if you want to.' I told her.

'REALLY!?' she squealed. 'Oops, sorry, had a bit of a fan girl moment there.' Apologising quickly she followed Stella out.

We laughed and told her that was all right. We liked Macie, so we also liked the fan girl Macie.

After we said goodbye, Kevin and I decided to play our guitars, practising for tomorrow and Joe decided to watch some TV. Mom said we worked hard today so she did the dishes.  
Angel was rereading one of the books I bought her.  
It was like a happy little family. Even more when dad came home. Mom hugged him and he hung op his coat, after saying hi to everyone. It was so peaceful, too peaceful…

The doorbell rang; of course I was the one to get it. Maybe it were some really brave fans.

I opened the door and in front of it stood a very, official looking man in a grey suit. Black hair with too much gel and a face that looked like it smelled something gross.

This couldn't be good.

'Hello, I'm Johanoi von Daich.' He spoke to me and man; the dude had a really big problem with himself.

'Sorry von what?' I asked. Seriously, who was called that?

'Johanoi von Daich. I'm looking for your adopted sister. Angela, or so?' He said, very bored and annoying looking.

This couldn't be good. This was really, really bad.

'Mom!' I called. 'You might want to come here.' I heard stumbling and my mother appeared next to me.

'What's going on honey?' she asked, looking suspiciously at the man in the door. My brothers also appeared next to me too. Kevin putting his hand on my shoulder protectively.

'I'm looking for your adopted child. Angela?' he said once again. Even more irritated now.

'Angel?' Joe said, expressing what we all felt. If he even dared to hurt Angel…

'Come in.' my mother said.

He walked past us, giving us a disgusted look. I really disliked him, even though I met him 20 seconds ago.

Come on, he wasn't much older then Kevin and he acted like he was so much more then us.

He confidentially walked in to the living room and just spoke to Angel sitting there.

'Angel?' She nodded. 'I would like to have a word with you.'

He turned to us. 'Is there a more private room available?' He asked.

We all looked at him. 'Sure, the kitchen is...' my mother started.

'Good, come girl.' He urged her.

Angel looked at us scared, before following him shyly and slower then he liked.

He raised his hand and moved it quickly around. Almost like he was going to drag her if she didn't move quickly.

She crouched away from him. Eyes closed, body tense, she expected hurt coming her way.

That did it. 'Hey!' I told him. 'Stop doing that, you're scaring her!' Joe walked towards the guy and pointed at his chest.

'You're talking to my lil' sis here man. If you say anything off...' He threatened.

The man just looked at Joe and walked over to the kitchen. 'I need to speak to her alone.' He said once again, arrogantly.

What we said had only made things worse.  
We watched Angel walking after him. Kevin held Joe by his arms, he looked ready to kill.

I shared that feeling.

We waited, anxiously.

Finally, after almost half an hour, Johanwhatever stepped out of the kitchen.

'She's still in there, did you notice she's very quiet. I would honestly consider if she is worth adopting.'  
Kevin had to stop both me and Joe now. I wanted to lunge at the guy.

'Good afternoon.' With that he led himself out.

Joe shook Kevin off and lunged for the kitchen door. Pulling it open, but didn't go in.

I almost ran after him to the door, scared to death at what I saw.

She was there, Angel, but not the angel who we quietly closed in our hearts the last couple of days.

There was nothing in there. She was blank, completely gone numb. Crawled away in the corner of the room. Moving back and forth. Not blinking, not one single sign of recognition.

Kevin slowly neared her. 'Angel, Angel honey? Are you okay?' She looked up at him, eyes not focussing.  
Kevin kneeled and put his arms around her, carrying her. She was pressed against his chest, looking even smaller then she usually did. Still crawled in to a ball. Leaning as far away from Kevin as she could.

'I'm going to kill that man; I'm going to kill that man. Damn.' Joe whispered. He walked back in to the living room, heading for the door.

'Joe, don't.' My father said, trying to stop him. 'Joe!'

I didn't hear the rest, as I followed Kevin upstairs. Leaving my almost crying mother behind.

Kevin put little Angel in her bed. Tucked her in. 'God, she looks bad. She was doing so well, she looked, well not good, bit she was okay and now we're worse off then when we started.' He muttered. I just numbly sat down next to her bed. I couldn't think. Didn't register what Kevin was saying. I only saw Angel's face. Blank, nothing on it.

'Stay with her Nick. I'm going downstairs. Mom looked terrible and I think dad could use some help. Stay with her.' Kevin said and left the room.

I kept staring at her beautiful little face. Did I say beautiful?

I didn't care at the moment, nothing was more important then Angel.

'Angel, Angel. Come back. Please, let me help you! You can trust me, please Angel.' I muttered, without getting a response.

I didn't notice I started singing until I heard myself.

There's a lot you don't notice  
when you read between the lines  
The future's out of focus,  
when you're blinded by the light.  
It's a hope for all the hopeless  
In the worst of trying times  
I resort to being speechless  
Cause our love won't survive  
Our love won't survive

Her head moved, looking at me, recognising me. Her eyes changed, not in a good way.

The blankness faded away, being replaced by pain. Pain in the most purest form.

Hurt, quilt, pain.

I acted on pure instinct as I crawled on the bed, my hands finding their way to her. Scooping her up.  
I hugged her. Trying to hold her together. I put all my fear and most of all, my new found love for her in that hug.

I hugged her, afraid to let her go, she would fall apart, she would leave.

She broke…

She trembled, tears running down her cheeks. Hands clinging on my shirt. Her head in the crook of my neck.

She cried; she finally let the pain out. She sobbed and cried in to my chest.

And I just held her. I would hold her forever if that were needed. She had to know she wasn't alone anymore.

She didn't need to face the pain alone. She could be safe.

So she cried and cried and I held her close.

She wasn't alone.

She got me.


	5. here on earth

**Chapter five**

**First of all, who said the pairings were set yet? **

**Don't judge the story until you've read it… : mischievous grin:**

**And about Nick/Angel…**

**I'm not letting them get together (at least not at this point…)**

**In the last chapter I just wanted to break through Angel's defence and I needed Nick (cute, sensitive one etc.) to be her shoulder to cry on.**

**Like I said before, don't judge the story… blah blah, etc.**

**Does that answer your concern?**

**Sweet, so, I won't talk you to boredom and just continue with the story…**

**Enjoy**

_Kevin PoV_

I walked back up the stairs after my father and I calmed Joe down. My mother wasn't much of a help. She was just making calls to someone…

I mean, was this the right time to do that? I shook my head in confusion. What had happened there in the kitchen? What did he say that made Angel so, so, destroyed. This wasn't good, we hat just gotten her to trust us a little bit.

I walked up to Angel's bedroom door. It was still open, like I left it 20 minutes ago.

What I saw amazed me. I saw Nick, sitting on the bed with a crying Angel in his arms. I watched, although it looked like a very personal moment. For both Angel and Nick. She finally had let someone in and she finally let some of her pain out.

I couldn't help but smile. This wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, this actually was pretty good. Except for the fact that dear Angel was still in pain, but she needed this. Crying it all out. I knew that for a fact and I was glad it was Nick she let in to her pain; he would be able to help her. They were a lot alike.

Both intelligent and quiet, always thinking and I had no doubt that Angel, just like Nick. Had the kindest heart, if only she let people in.

I closed the door with a smile; I could feel a deep bond creating itself here.  
Yeah, I could. A lot of people thought I wasn't very smart, but I was. I was just good at playing dumb.

I walked down the stairs to find two anxious girls, Stella and Macie, bombarding me with questions.

'How is she? What happened? Who was that guy? How did he hurt her? Did he hurt her?'

They were both sitting with Joe on the couch. Stella probably trying to comfort her best friend.

'She's okay, I guess, crying, yes. She's very hurt. Nick's with her.'

Macie suddenly started crying. We all looked at her surprised.

'Macie, Macie, shh. What's wrong?' Joe said, looking at her wide eyed.

'I... Just' She sobbed. 'I just feel so… bad for her.' Joe and Stella smiled, just like me.

'Aww Macie, I would hug you if I wasn't sitting on the other side of Joe.' Stella said.

'Joe can hug me.' She innocently said. We all laughed and Joe hugged her.

'There, better?' He said. 'Absolutely.'

Stella was the first to get serious again. 'What I don't understand.' She said to us. 'Is what happened with that creep?'

'I can guess what happened; he told her something about her past.' Macie answered.

'Yeah, but what? We don't know anything about her past.' I stated.

We all thought. I wondered what had happened.

My mother and father entered the room. 'Hey guys, how's she?' My father asked.

'Upstairs, with Nick. I think she's finally letting some of it out.' I answered.

Of course at that moment the subjects of our conversation entered the room.

Angel first. I stared at her. Something was certainly different.  
First of all, she was standing way to close to Nick then she usually stood to anyone.

Second. She was looking, good, relaxed. Something had disappeared.  
Something in her eyes, usually calm, not showing emotion were now filled with hurt, but also some acceptance.  
'Angel.' Mom sighed. She also saw the difference. Nick had broke through her defence.  
'Hey kiddo! What did that creep say to you?' Joe said, asking what we all wanted to know.

She looked back at Nick. Something going on between them.

Told you I was right about the bond.

'He told her about her father. His trial is over, he has to go to jail for 25 years.' Nick said.  
I cringed and I saw Macie turn to Joe, without thinking seeking comfort in him.

Stella quickly stood up and walked towards her. Stopping about 3 feet in front of Angel.

'I'm so sorry.' She stated, looking at Angel sympathically. Angel looked down, at her feet. She took a deep breath and faced Stella.

She smiled, and all of us immediately relaxed. Why? I don't know. The atmosphere in the room just got lighter.

Even though we just heard her father got 25 years in jail.

'How bout' we all get some sleep. I'm sorry I called you out of bed, but you're the boys' best friends. You can sleep over if you want?' my mom said, but Angel interfered. She pulled my mothers sleeve softly and made some movements I didn't understood. We all didn't except for...

'She asks if they can stay in her room, she'd like some company.' Nick translated.

My mom looked at him in surprise but agreed. 'You can all sleep there if you want.'

I smiled; it would be fun spending some time with the six of us. Especially since we were now even in numbers.

So we all got some pillows, mattresses and sleeping bags and went to angel's room. It wasn't very large, but that made it only better.

We decided to all sleep together on the floor. Mainly because the girls refused to sleep on the bed and the couch in the room. So we just made ourselves comfortable and went to sleep quickly.

Nick PoV

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

I grumbled in the soft material my head was lying on. I heard some other movements next to and behind me.

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

'Will somebody, please, turn of the damn clock!' I heard Kevin's sleepy voice. I heard a bump, a sharp tick and a loud crash.

'There, done.' Joe's voice said smugly and I heard him turn around again on my left side.

'Joe, you weren't supposed to destroy the clock.' Stella spoke. Why did girls have to get up easier then boys?

I groaned again and lifted my head. I looked around seeing Stella stretch and Macie yawning loudly.

On my left side Joe was snoring again and I saw Kevin look at me with sleep filled eyes. Behind Kevin sat Angel, with her legs crossed on the couch we had put in her room yesterday so one of the girls could sleep on it. They refused but it looked nice in the room.

I smiled widely at her, remembering what had happened yesterday. I had broke through her defence.

It had been so strange and it still had felt so good. Like I could see in to her head. Feel some of the pain she had been experiencing.

I think it was like something Joe and Stella had. They were so creepy sometimes, exactly feeling where the other was or what the other needed.

Like our minds, scrap that, souls had touched. There was a bond and I could feel it still there.

Something else asked attention in my head, something important, but it refused to get clear. I frowned. What were we supposed to do today?

I looked at Angel and noticed she was writing something on a piece of paper.  
She held it up and it said: _Aren't you supposed to record today? _

My eyes widened, she was right. Shit.

'Thanks!' I mouthed at her and she smiled softly, then looking down at her new pyjamas. White pants and a white tank top. The only one showing her scars. I think she was okay with us seeing that.

I got of trail and shook my head. 'GUYS! Wake up!' I yelled and threw a pillow over to Kevin while I shook Joe.

'We have to record today. What time is it?' Kevin shot up as the pillow hit him, while Joe grumbled and said: 'I don't know, I destroyed the clock remember.'

'Joe!' I whined. 'How're we supposed to know what time it is?'

'Um, what time exactly were you supposed to be there?' Stella asked me. '10:30.' I answered.

Macie grabbed her cell phone and looked at it. 'Um, guys. It's 10:15…' She said.  
My eyes, my brothers' too for the matter of fact, widened. I almost shot towards Macie and almost knocked her over again.

'Macie, give me the phone.' She gave it to me and it said 10:16.

'DAMN!' I shot up. 'Dude, go easy on her, she can't help it.' Joe said. 'You guys are the ones that keep knocking her over.'

'I wasn't talking to Macie. We got to go! Now! Thom will be furious.'

Kevin, now looking scared now got up too. 'Joe, stop being lazy, get up!'

Kevin walked to the door fast, disappearing, closely followed by Stella and Macie, clothes in their hands. I pulled Joe up and pushed him to the door.

'Angel, could you bring him to his room, I'm not sure if he can find his own head in this state.' I said to Angel while grabbing my own pile of clothes of the ground and she nodded. Quickly grabbing his wrist and pulling him out.

I was alone in the room now, looking for my left shoe. I eventually found it on Angel's chair and stood up. Noticing a small, brown book lying on her desk. It was the journal I saw the first day. I looked at it, weighting my options.

'Nick! Hurry up man, we have to go! Go!' I heard Kevin's voice yell. I quickly grabbed the journal and I hided it in my T-shirt.

I used Angel's slide to go to our room and dumped the clothes on my bed. Quickly dressing in new clothes and hurrying downstairs.

Everybody was dressed already. 'Macie, Stella and Angel are coming with us okay? Hurry Nick, you were the one telling us we were late!' Joe said.

We hurried out the door and in to Kevin's car. It was a bit too small so we all were a bit pushed together, Macie almost sitting on Joe's lap and I was pressed against the window. Angel got the front seat and looked very pleased with it.

Eventually we made it to the studio, only 7 minutes late.

'hey guys, there you are. Sleepover got late huh.' Thom joked. 'Yeah. Sortof.' I answered.

'That's okay, I got great news you guys!' We all looked at him, Kevin halfway of putting his guitar over his head.

'You know the charity celebrity concert right?' he asked. I rolled my eyes. 'Duh, of course we know the CCC. What about it?'

'Well, I just heard some very popular band with three brothers you might know are performing there.' He said looking at his nails.

'NO WAY!' I screamed. 'THE CCC! SERIOUSLY?' Kevin yelled, high fiving Stella and Macie.  
I went over to Angel and hugged her, I knew she wouldn't mind. 'The CCC Angel, it's where I first heard Stevie Wonder play!' I said enthusiastically.

**[A/N Yeah, I made that up, sorry, it's needed for the story.]**

'The CCC, we're going to perform at the CCC.' I whispered to her. She smiled and hugged me again.

'WHOO YEAH!' Joe screamed walking up to me and hugging me too. 'Joe, can't, breathe.' I told him.

He just grinned and put me down, embracing Angel, lifting her up in the air. She stiffened a bit, but smiled.

After we got calm again, he told us what we were going to do.

One rock song, one more sensitive song and I had to do a duet with a girl.

'Wow, nice, I like that.' Joe sighed. He shot up. 'Stella, you can sing, can't you?'

Stella looked at him. 'A little, why.' Joe smiled hugely.

'Wouldn't a duet with our stylist be like, super awesome!?' He asked.

'Wow, great idea Joe.' I said. 'I like that, Stella, would you like to do a duet with me at the CCC?'

She looked at me; mouth shaped O, before she grabbed Macie and started happy dancing. 'I'm singing at the CCC!' she yelled, laughing.

We all laughed and joined her happy dance. Except for Angel who just smiled and stayed where she was.  
After we calmed down, again, Thom said we were going to start and Stella said she had to go. Macie, of course coming with her.  
We hugged them goodbye, Macie with quite some force, so she tripped over some standard and I had to keep her up.

After they left Joe looked a bit black.

'Dudes, seriously, why are you guys constantly knocking Macie over?' He asked.

'Dude, seriously, why do you care?' Kevin asked.

'I do not! I just…'

'You care; you wouldn't have asked if you didn't.'

'You're ridiculous, I just feel sorry…'

'You aren't the one knocking her over?'

'Oh come on, I…'

'GUYS!' I yelled. 'Quit it. Okay? Sheesh. You're acting like you're fighting over Teddybun again.'

They both quickly dropped the subject and Angel and I laughed at them.

We quickly finished the songs for today after that, so we were free to go again.

We went back to the car, Joe beating me to the front seat, but I didn't mind. I sort of talked to Angel in the backseats. I could understand her hand movements pretty well now. Maybe I should buy her a notepad for other people.

As we got home, dad had a surprise for Angel. He had bought her some books and her own copies of all our CD's.

'You might as well listen to them; you're a Jonas now too.' He said, but of course she started with the books.

I remembered a certain book upstairs too.

'Guys.' I whispered to my brothers. 'Come with me, it's important.' Kevin and Joe looked confused, but came with me.

Eventually standing at my bed as I searched for the journal. 'Nick, what the..?' Joe began.

'Found it.' I said. Showing the brown journal. Joe looked confused, but Kevin's eyes popped.

'Her journal?' He asked. 'Nick, that's personal. We can't do that.' I smiled at the 'we'.

'It's our only way of finding out what happened.' I brought in.

'Guys, explanation please? What are we talking about?' Joe asked still confused.

'It's Angel's diary. Nick stole it.' Kevin said angrily.

'I did not!' I told him. 'We lend it.' He rolled his eyes.

'Dude, Kev, are you serious, is that her diary? I've never seen her write in it.' Joe said. 'But if it's true, her story might be in it!' He realised.

'Exactly, listen, we need to find out what happened, so we can help her. I know this isn't the best way, but it's the only way right now.'

Kevin looked at the diary; I could see the curiousness in his eyes. 'Well… okay fine.' He finally agreed.

I sat down on the bed, the journal in my lap. Joe on my right side, Kevin on my left.

We started reading.

**Cliff hanger! Sorry for that.**

**You liked it. I hope so.**

**Next chapter is basically the chapter where this whole story started with. The beginning, where the story just popped in my head.**

**basically what happened to Angel.**

**It's pretty heavy stuff, so if you've got a really weak stomach, I wouldn't read it if I were you.**

**It won't be a problem, I will explain what happened in the chapter coming after that so you won't miss a thing.**

**Review me, and maybe I will put it up tomorrow, but I'm not sure. friends of ours have just gotten a baby, and it's sort of named after me!  
****So I'm really hyper right now and really hoping she is coming home fast, she only weights 3 pounds or so right now.  
But i still think she's gonna be the most adorable creature in the world. **

**Plus I've got a whole lot of homework and two big tests coming up already. :sigh:**

**Push the nice little button, it won't bite =]**

**Love, silver**


	6. story of an angel

**WARINING: Abuse, heavy things and just not right for people who have a weak stomach.**

**Probably rated M, **

**You can choose not to read this part, it will make no difference. I will explain in the next chapter.**

**So this is basically where this story was born, it was also the first chapter I wrote. **

**Please, let me know what you think about it. Reviews mean a lot to me…**

**I'm not going to destroy the ending, like I did before.**

**I'm a really proud writer right now, so be nice!**

**And mostly…**

**Enjoy**

Was this right, should I read? I mean, this was her secret. Would our new found bond shred to pieces when I read this? I wondered… But I had to, I knew I had to. She would never tell me on her own. Her hurt, her pride. She would never, I knew so much, like I knew her so well now. After the touching, after I felt her soul. Cliché, I know, but it's like I have known her for years rather then a week.

So I knew, she would just fade away in her own pain, not saying a word until it broke her completely.

I needed to do something. So I started reading

It was the only option.

_It all started when my mom died. _

_Before that, we were a family. Before that we were just the Stevens'. Before that, we were happy._

_A Father, a mother, one daughter and one son. My father had a job at a bank; he was pretty high up the career ladder; so he made a good amount of money. Money we could do fun things with, apart from the necessary stuff. We would go to the beach, cinema or went shopping till we dropped._

_When he came home__ from wok, he was a good father; he loved me and always used to ruffle my hair when he came home. My brother Stephen was his eye apple and he had just started third grade. He was only seven, but he was smart for his age, just like I am, like I was._

_I just started the seventh grade. I was eleven at that point.  
I loved Stephen more than I can tell you. I always helped him with his homework when my mother was busy with her artwork or her self designed clothes. I explained everything he didn't understand took him to play gardens and always picked him up from school. _

_My mom and I always used to read to him. Well, actually it was my mother reading to both of us. __We'd say we were reading to him because, I thought I was a little bit too old for stories, but secretly, I loved that moments with them. _

_Sometimes when my mother was at her work, I read to him__ alone, and the way he looked at me with big eyes, listening to my voice is one of the dearest memories I have of him. _

_When my father came in and found us sitting like that, he always used to tell my how much I looked like my mother. This was true, just like my mother I have long dark hair and green eyes that always, just like my mothers', used to shine with joy._

_My mother was a good wife, good mother and at Tuesdays and Thursdays she was the upper-cashier of Fashionfable. Not because of the money, she just liked doing what she did. She was responsible for the buying and selling of the clothes. Her co-workers, of course, worshipped her. Just like she was a good mom, she was a good boss too.  
I just wished she hadn't gotten that job... cause if she hadn't gotten the job, she wouldn't have to drive to work, if she wouldn't have to drive to work, she wouldn't have needed a car._

_If she didn't needed a car, then she wouldn't have had the accident. _

_The car accident, completely not her fault. The other driver was drunk. Couldn't hold the wheel and crashed right into the little yellow car my mother was driving. _

_The worst thing is that she had pain. I heard the doctors tell my father that something, a pipe or so, entered her body below her ribs and exited her on the left side of her spine. __It didn't hit the lungs nor did it damage the heart so she was still partly conscious when the paramedics came. _

_She died in the hospital, I saw her.__ I did._

_My father was to busy to notice me and I watched her through a window. She was covered in blood and all sorts of needles and funny looking things were coming out of her body. _

_Luckily she saw me too; there was pain in her eyes, but also acceptation. She knew she was going to leave me. Even when I didn't. _

_She mouthed__ something at me. I read; I love you, take care of Stephen and find your…' after that that there was just a high pitched noise and my mothers eyes closed. Never to open again. _

_After that came the funeral. I got all sorts of hugs, some similar, some strange, but none of them was the similar embrace I was waiting for. The embrace I was never to feel again. _

_I saw her body, not her, just her body. Lying in the white satin, her face empty. I knew, her soul was gone. Crossed over to a place where she would be happy, and waiting for us to join her in the far, far future. I was thankful for that._

_I held Stephen close to me when the light wooden box disappeared in the dark hole. __He didn't understand and kept asking where mom was, which leaded to another crying round from my stuffy smelling aunts. I didn't even knew them before that day. Never seen them after that either. My grandparents on both sides were gone to. I like to imagine that she was with them. _

_Both of my parents had no siblings... So it was a small funeral. It was the place I accepted that my mother was gone, I wasn't over the loss. It wasn't even bearable yet, but there I realised that she never was coming back. _

_That was also the place my father drank his first bottle of whiskey. _

_He started drinking after that, he said it helped him to ease the pain. Knowing my own pain, I believed him. Was thankful he found a way to release himself from the hole that was probably just as clearly visible in his chest as it was in mine. I accepted the fact that he was sad and out of it, because of my mothers' death. _

_So I did what my mom asked me to do. __I took care of Stephen._

_Stephen and my father. I would throw away the empty bottles and clean up the mess if his body couldn't handle the alcohol. I cleaned the house and made us dinner. Witch my father never ate any from. _

_I picked Stephen up from school and helped him everywhere I could. Trying to refill the emptiness my mother left, at least for him. I made his homework with him. Helped him understand what he was doing. I told him when he did something wrong and complimented him when he did something good. Not only in his homework, but in what we did in general. _

_I told him not to pull girls hair. He asked my why and I told him it would hurt them. He frowned and after that he never pulled any girls hair on purpose__ again. When he did accidentally he immediately said sorry and stroked the head of the girl which hair he had pulled. Like I always did with him when he was hurt. _

_I waked him up in the morning and brought him to bed in the evening. I did my homework while he was playing. I gave him a few of my books when his reading got better and better. _

_He worshipped me, and I loved my little Stephen. Everything I did for him, I did with pleasure. All the pretty hard work was nothing to me when he smiled. He had the most beautiful smile in the world. That's why I always made sure that he brushed his teeth twice a day, so they wouldn't loose their white shine. _

_Meanwhile the pile of bottles I cleaned up everyday got bigger and I got worried about my father. As I remembered, he always had to go to work on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday morning. Now he hardly went to his work and when he did he went at 10 am instead of his usual 8 am. _

_After a while he stopped working at all. He even forgot Stephens birthday. Unfortunately, I thought back then, the money from the money, we kept in a little vase for dinner and other stuff was gone. Later I realised that he had used the money to buy his bottles. So I smashed my piggybank and used the money to buy him a small cake and the 3 little race cars he wanted. He was happy with it. We couldn't even eat the whole cake together. _

_I didn't even __realise that my father forgot to pay the bills when an angry looking man with a grey suit got to our house. I told him my father wasn't home, he wasn't really, he was totally passed out on the couch. So it wasn't really lying was it?_

_What I also hadn't realised was as I was taking care of Stephen I really filled the spot of my mother. The biggest shock was when I asked him about my mother and he just looked at me with a confused look. He had forgotten all about her. _

_At some point there never was any money left in the vase and I used all my money on Stephens's birthday. We didn't get pocket money either. So I started working a paper round. It was barely enough to get us food and usually I gave my part of the meal to Stephen. _

_My grades, usually A's and B's. Started to run back. It wasn't unusual that I got home with D's. Still I did it gladly, as long as Stephen was healthy, happy and sound. I was happy too. I didn't even mind anymore to do all the work in the house, nor did it bother me to clean up my fathers mess. I did my paper round after I dropped Stephen off at home. Cooked dinner when I was done with my fathers mess for that day and after that I parked Stephen in front of the TV and did my homework. I brought Stephen to bed at about 9 and worked hard to get everything done, usually I didn't finish before I dropped down on my bed, exhausted._

_It was on one of those nights that I found the boxes. The boxes with little plastic bags in them. Little plastic bags with white powder. I didn't know what it was, but after that I found the white powder all over the house. I kept Stephen away from it, just as I kept him away from my father.  
I stopped taking my gymnastic classes as I did with my piano and dancing lessons... I was to busy with taking care of Shephen, my father the house and my now two jobs. _

_On one day, a pretty miserable day already, I got an F in math and a D in history. Stephen was being stubborn and didn't want to eat the cheap lasagne I bought. There were new boxes in the hallway, no longer disguised and the pile of bottles was bigger than ever. _

_As I entered the room I saw my father sitting on the couch. He wasn't the friendly, good shaped man I once knew. He was a bit fat, greasy and he looked angry. I looked at him. 'Hey dad,' I told him. 'Did you sleep well?' _

_That was it; I didn't say one more word than that. __He whispered. 'You look so much like her. So much, just her. Exactly the same.' He walked towards me and cupped my face with his hands. _

_I swallowed. 'Why'd ya leave my Classy?' he asked me with a double tongue. He was drunk._

_Then he started screaming. 'WHY! You fucking bitch! Why?!' He slapped me, right in the face. Once, two times, three…_

_I fell to the ground and saw Shephen standing in the doorway. My father hovering over me, rage clearly visible in his eyes. 'Stephen, go to your room immediately! Go work on your homework!' I ordered him. He obeyed me; he knew it was serious, because I never ordered him something. I always treated him with all my love. So he backed away to the stairs and disappeared with a confused look on his face. We always did our homework together after I came home from my under aged work. It hurt me to see him like that._

_So I tried not to scream when __I roughly got grabbed by my hair and pulled up. Another punch hit my face, my ribs, my stomach. He kept yelling at me, I can't remember what, but I know the words; bitch, slut, worthless brat and I hate you, were there a lot._

_He threw me to the ground and kicked me one last time before he walked back to the couch and grabbed a new bottle. I slowly, painfully and trying very hard not to make any sound, crawled to the stairs and half ran half climbed to Stephens room. He wasn't there… _

_Eventually __I found Stephen on my bed. Curled up and looking scared. He probably heard the yelling from my father…_

_I put my arms around him and we just laid there till he fell asleep. _

_I felt some blood stirring on my face, but I couldn't force myself to get up. __Images of my father, standing there, my blood on his hands. _

_My mother staring at nothing with blank eyes. __Stephen asking who I meant with 'mom'_

_I fell asleep with the picture we made last Christmas.__ That one hurt the most. _

_My father and mom, hugging each other while me and Stephen stood next to a giant snowman. We looked so happy on that picture. _

_A silent tear made his way over my in blood covered cheek. _

_I remember getting up the next day, quickly making my way over to the bathroom. I looked at my face. A cut on my forehead caused the bleeding and I quickly cleaned it.  
My body felt sore and I wanted to lie down and just sleep, but I had to keep my promise to mom and not only to her. Stephen was my number one priority, I would never ever look at his face and see him scared again I vowed to myself. _

_I cleaned myself up and went downstairs. I found my dad covered in whiskey, beer and wine bottles. __I threw them away and found a few empty plastic bags… I didn't want to think about what had been in them or where it was now._

_I made a small breakfast and as usual I gave the biggest part of mine to Stephen... He kept looking at me, trying to find something that was wrong. He knew something was wrong, but I could hide it well. He didn't find anything. _

_I brought him to school, told his teacher that he hadn't been feeling well yesterday and because of that hadn't been able too make his homework. She looked at me, also searching for what was wrong, she didn't find anything either._

_I went to school, didn't even bother to give the teacher an excuse for the absence of my homework and worked myself through the day. _

_When I picked Stephen up from his school I took him with me to my work at the supermarket Stackhouse and after that on my paper round. He didn't moan or worked up once. _

_I was grateful for that and bought him a chocolate bar. That would mean no meal for me tonight, but he should at least have something of a normal life. His clothes already were __too small, but we didn't have the money to buy him new. I knew it, we were poor. _

_When we came home I immediately send Stephen up to his room to make his homework._

_I peeked around the living room corner and found nothing but the usual dirt and crap from my father. He was absent again. It happened more often now. I wasn't worried. He would be back._

_As I was busy making dinner for Stephen someone grabbed me by my arm._

'_There you are little bitch.' My muscles tightened, but the punch still hit me hard. _

_I had known it would happen again__, but I had hoped. That hope was now lying on the ground, shredded and visibly there. It hurt, like the punches did. _

_I didn't scream, I would not, give him that satisfaction. On top of that, it would scare Stephen.  
My precious little angel. I would never let this happen to him. I would bear the pain and the low grades; I would work as hard as I could, as long as he was happy, I vowed once again. While my father pushed me against the wall and hit me directly in my stomach._

_In the following months the beating didn't stop. It got even worse. Every day I had more bruises all over my body, I was sore all the time. _

_I was sure I turned 13 somewhere around there. _

_Everyday I got op early and did my early paper round, it was hard riding the heavy bike, but I imagined Stephen doing it and that gave me energy. I told people I was fourteen, so I could work. After that I woke up Stephen, pretended everything was all right, even though I had huge shadows underneath my eyes from too less sleep. _

_I went to school and tried to look normal. Or at least not get anybody suspicious. My grades kept dropping because I never had time to study properly. _

_At gym I always wore long sleeved shirts, I always did, preferably with turtle necks. _

_Out of school I picked up Stephen and went to the supermarket where he played with cans or helped me with stocking things. The supervisor was suspicious about me and Stephen being so skinny and gave us some barely out of the stock food supplies. I was utterly grateful for that, because now I could buy some new clothes for Stephen. _

_Still it was even harder doing my second paper round with Stephen at the back of my bicycle. _

_Coming home was the hardest part._

_After I send Stephen, who was getting more__ and more suspicious, upstairs and I silently went to work. That was hard also, but even before I was done, my father came. Making everyday to a living hell.  
I tried to bear it, I tried to hide the bruises and tried to behave properly, but he always would find a reason to get to me. Or he just would ignore that and hurt me anyways. _

_It hurt every time just as much as the first time, maybe even worse. I huffed and cringed, but I never, ever screamed. I simply couldn't. _

_After my dad would fall asleep on the couch, I would work till late on finishing everything I had to do. That included, washing, doing the dishes, making sure my dad didn't choke in his__ sleep, tiding up our way to big house, doing my homework, and a lot more. ._

_I usually didn't sleep until 1am in the morning, but as long both of them got enough sleep, I would be happy too. Still, my father never seemed happy; he was mean, sometimes laughing when he beat me, but never with real joy. He always got angry, mad or really sad and then took it out on me. _

_Did it help, I didn't __know, I only knew it hurt._

_Once, I threw away all my fathers alcohol. _

_That night he broke my rib._

_Another time he would find it necessary to throw me down the stairs. I had to pretend I fell._

_I couldn't give him in. He was my father, I couldn't do that. My mother would never forgive me. _

_Stephen and I would be separated and I couldn't live with that idea. I couldn't let anybody find out._

_The only light in my life was Stephen, my little angel Stephen. His smile made it all, not better, not good, but bearable. __With him, I didn't felt like curling up, trying to hold the pain inside. _

_The nightmares were the worst, recapping everything that happened and more things.  
__Stephen ripped away from me by the government. My father, going in to jail for the rest of his life._

_Mostly it were shadow's, trying to eat me, trying to kill me. Yelling and screaming I wasn't worth living…_

_It got different somewhere around Stephen's tenth birthday, I was fourteen. _

_He started using the knife. Not only was I now covered in bruises and wounds, I had cuts now too._

_He even carved a cross, on the inside of my left shoulder. He found that funny. _

_Stephen once saw it, his smile faded from his face and that hurt more than the cut itself._

_I knew what my father was doing to me, I knew it was wrong, but could I give my own father to the police to rot away in jail. I couldn't._

_I still searched for the man that was once in his eyes. I had to realise that man was gone, but I kept searching. Now, I wish I had given him in, but then again. Would they have believed me?_

_My teachers started to get irritated with me too, my earlier teachers knew about my mother dieing and me taking care of Stephen. Of course they didn't know the real, the whole story, but it helped._

_I didn't bother to tell the newer, more recent teachers. They didn't like my lack of doing homework, as they said it. They told me I was lazy, and I could do much better._

_I thought that was quite generous, compared to what I really was._

_They would give me detention, witch meant even less time for Stephen, my work and my duties at home. _

_Stephen, now old enough to realise I could use some help, relieved me of some of my work at home. _

_My little blue eyed angel. He was everything I had._

_People __started to tell me I looked really unhealthy and dead on my feet all the time._

_I didn't care, I always had been slim._

_My father started to get op early too. Getting to me even more often now._

_Hitting, kicking, beating me and scolding me in the morning and in the evening. _

_If I was really unlucky, even late at night. I just took it, numb and not responding. I wasn't struggling anymore. I wasn't even strong enough to try, so I just bared it._

_I really didn't know where he got the money to buy all the alcohol, or the drugs. _

_I now knew what the white powder was and I warned my Stephen to stay away from it. _

_As always he obeyed me, on the rare association I ordered him something._

_I also told him, not to go home before I got him to; I would not let him feel any of the pain I went through._

_I think the walls in the living room showed my silhouette in multiple places, where my father threw me against them._

_I tried to stop him from drinking, from yelling, so he wouldn't make Stephen scared. I tried, really._

_It only made him angrier. _

_His eyes started to look like my mothers when she died. __Every time I looked at them the hole she left hurt again._

_I thought__, that was bad, that it could never get any worse. How could it possibly?_

_I was __wrong, dead wrong…_

_It was the day after one of the worst anger attacks my father ever had. My dad had almost broken both of my legs when he had thrown me over the kitchen table. Straight in to the wall.  
His hands, fists, kept making contact with every part of my body. It was the day after I fell asleep in a corner of the kitchen. Knowing Stephen would be wondering where I was. My little angel would be scared, again, and again, it was my fault. Getting up hurt too much, so I just laid there, until my little brother, my little star, came looking for me. He hugged me in an attempt to comfort me. I think that was when my father realised he had a son to._

_The next day I couldn't bring myself to do my paper round. I knew that meant not getting enough money this __week and Stephen saw my worries and did the paper round for me._

_My little saviour. He knew where to be, because after a beating like last night, I usually took him with me on my morning round._

_I was lucky on 2 grounds, I didn't have to do my round, and second, Stephen was out of the house when our father woke up early again that morning._

_While he slapped me, he screamed: 'your mother left you didn't she, the fucking slut, the dirty bitch!'_

_I thought it was one of the most painful things he could've ever said, man was I wrong. I had been wrong about everything. _

_I cried, but I didn't scream or yell. _

_He punched me in my stomach and I fell to the ground, sobbing softly._

_Then he said the words that are forever engraved in my mind._

'_Where's your little brother, sweetie? Where's the little brat huh?'_

_My eyes flew open, not Stephen! Not my brother! Never!_

_I tried to distract him and pushed him away, with all the force I had left. Witch wasn't much, but he was drunk and lost his balance and fell on a pile of full bottles, they broke…_

_He got furious. _

_It was worth it though, because he didn't mention Stephen again._

_He was gone by the time my brother__ got home. I brought him to school where his teacher asked me concerned if I was feeling okay. I answered that I was feeling a little sick._

_In fact I was. I was feeling horrible, not only because of my aching body._

_Also I was worried sick about Stephen and my father asking about him._

_I had to keep him away from my sweet sunshine._

_After school I skipped detention, tomorrow I would get more anyways and went straight to __Stephens's school._

_There waited the most horrible thing ever._

_In the form of Stephens smiling teacher._

'_Oh, hello sweetie! I thought you weren't coming anymore?' she said to me._

_I already started to panic. 'What, what do you mean?'_

'_Your father already picked up Stephen, I though you were sick, you told me this more... hey where are you going?' _

_I didn't even hear what she was saying anymore, I raced home, one thought in my mind._

_Stephen, Stephen, he's got Stephen!_

_I fell of my rusty bike trying to get to the door of our house as fast as possible._

_I ran in. The door slammed against the wall._

'_Stephen! Stephen! Sweetheart where are you!!' I screamed, shrieked, forced out of my painful throat._

_I heard a muffled scream from the kitchen._

_It echoed in my mind as I ran towards the sound…_

_I froze in the doorstep. There was my father, with my barely eleven years old brother, covered in what must be Stephens blood. His massive hands, that hurt _me_ so many times around my angel's throat. _

_Stephens's__ beautiful angelic eyes shined, with fear. _

_Shaking, wiggling to get out of his fathers choking grip, his beautiful little smile now malformed into a deaf scream. _

_No, not him, was the only thing I was thinking. _

_I lunged at my father, pulling his arms away from __Stephens's throat. _

'_Stephen! Get away! Get out of here! Now!' I yelled as I tried to hold off our father._

_That was the first time he ever disobeyed me._

'_no!' he said. It surprised me so that I lost my balance, immediately I was on the floor by a punch of my fathers fist. _

'_stop! Stop hurting her, stop hurting my angel! You monster!' he yelled in his young voice._

_Stephen stepped in front of me, protectively spreading his arms. _

_One punch of my father had him slamming against the wall. _

_I crawled towards him. Embraced him, protecting him with my own body._

'_S__hh, it's gonna be okay. Don't worry; I'm not going to let him hurt you!'_

_He weakly looked up at me. 'but he's gonne hurt you Angela, I don't want him to hurt you. I love you!' he told me._

_Tears ran over my cheeks, I never had been moor certain to never let anything hurt him._

'_I love you too Stevie, so much, he won't hurt you, I promise!_

_I felt a sharp pain on my back and hissed. Stephen cried now too._

'_It's okay sweetie, don't cry!'_

_Another hit on my back, and a kick against my head made me almost fall on top of Stephen._

_I didn't scream, like I never did. I wouldn't let Stephen hear that. Scar him._

_He looked at my face; saw the pain now, me not able to hide it. _

'_no! Angela!' he whispered and then pushed me away._

_I fell to the ground, another wave of pain fled through my body._

'_Stephen!' I moaned. _

_He stood in front of me, in the line between my father and his object, my body._

_I saw the oh so similar silver shine of the knife. 'No! Stephen!' I now whispered. _

'_Get out of the way! Now!' my father yelled at him. I tried to get to Stephen, but the pain was unbearable._

'_no! You are not going to hurt her anymore.'_

_The silver shone, flitted through the air. A scream, and another, both unfamiliar._

_I realised I was screaming, for the first time since my father started his abuses, I screamed. _

_Not for myself, but for Stephen._

_With unbelievable strength I got up and got to Stephen. The silver knife standing in his little chest. _

_Blood gushing over his yellow t-shirt. Eyes open in horror._

'_Did he... hurtyu... agan… Angelle?' he coughed out. 'No, he didn't but,' I tried to say_

'_Good, my angelle safe!' he whispered. 'I love you Stephen, always will.' I told him_

_He closed his eyes, 'I lof you thoo' and I felt his body go limp. _

'_Stephen,' I whispered. 'My Stephen.'_

_I didn't saw the police coming in, after a passenger outside heard the screaming, my first screaming in almost 3 years or was it four?_

_I didn't saw the horror in their eyes when they saw a crying girl with an ripped off shirt, bruises and half healed cuts now visible, holding a dead boy with a knife in his chest. _

_I didn't saw them arresting the man responsible for all of that, later proved by the fingerprints on the knife, his fingers fitting perfectly in the bruises around my neck. _

_I didn't saw the disgust on their faces when they saw my body, mine and Stephens blood on my fathers clothes. _

_I didn't saw nothing, only Stephens still face._

_Since that day, since the day my father killed Stephen because of me, I haven't said a word, not one sound has escaped my lips, except at night, when the nightmares come and I wake up, screaming._

_I don't say anything to the stupid, bored psychiatrist, no words for the doctors, only interested in my body's health, when it is my entire soul that is burning from inside. _

_I don't answer the questions from child services on what family I would like to be adopted by._

_Like anyone would like to adopt someone like me, I'm not even worth talking to. _

_My Stephen. If you hadn't died for my life, I would end it myself.  
Every time I think of you, mom, even my father it feels like I'm still being stabbed and cut. From inside._

_I can't stand the pain, but I won't bother anyone with it.  
I will stay silent, nobody is there to talk to. _

_Please, let me join my Stephen, my mother some day. _

_I was good, wasn't I? I took care of them, I tried so hard, but it wasn't good enough._

_I wasn't strong enough. I stood up pride, always, bearing the pain, but that night, that particular night._

_I wasn't strong enough._

_I failed_

_I…_

The Journal stopped there, it wasn't a diary, it was a story, a story, everything that happened to her, everything. I hadn't thought she could become dearer to me then she already was.

The thing was. I loved her even more now.

This was her story

A story of an Angel…


	7. devil unlocked

**T.T…. I know, last chapter was so SAD! **

**But it was needed. It was the chapter where story of an Angel was born, the very first chapter I wrote!**

**Okay, so this chapter is dedicated to ****xxVICTORIAxx ****for reviewing each and every chapter! **

**Thank you so much, it makes my day to read your reviews every time and it inspires me to write more.**

**THANX VICTORIA!**

**So, this story I partly wrote at school (what else to do at school right?) with my always faithful notepad...**

**Don't know why I'm saying that so I'll just let you go read the story…**

**Enjoy**

Nick PoV

I closed the journal and swallowed. 'Wow…' Kevin whispered. 'That was…'

'Agreed, that was one of the most heartbreaking things I have ever read, seen or felt in my entire life.' Joe finished his sentence. A tone of disbelieve in his normally happy voice.

I just threw the journal away from me, anger pounding through my veins. Disbelief, helplessness and a broken feeling I couldn't place were fighting for attention in my head.

'The monster! The bloody! The filthy…'

I couldn't find words that described the rage and the hate I was feeling for the man that did this to her... She worked, cared and had givin' up everything and what had she gotten in return?

Beatings, cuts and bad words, which hurt even more then the beatings itself.

She was destroyed, destroyed by her own father, when she only was trying to protect her little brother. Like he should have done, like he didn't.

And after that her drunk, sick masochistic monster of a father killed the only reason left in her life, killed her little brother, poor Angel blamed herself.

Because she wasn't strong enough after all the times he had hurt her so badly, because she wasn't conscious enough after the hits the kicks the stabs and the cuts. He had abused her so badly after her mom died, that when his rage took over completely, she was to hurt to stop him.  
She blamed that on herself.

She had taken care of both her father and little brother when she was like what? 12 years old! Giving up everything for them and accepted the mood and pain from her father with the loss of her mother. I was amazed how strong she was. Amazed, touched, but mostly heavily feeling the guilt and the hurt she must be feeling 100 times worse.

She had never screamed when her father took his own anger and sadness out on her. Never one word, because she didn't want to scare her brother.

Her own angel, the boy with the huge smile, the only reason she stayed with her father.

He was her meaning of life, and he was killed by her own father, the father she protected as well, never gave him in for abuse.

You would be silent after that too.

'Damn it!' I yelled.

'The monster!' Joe exclaimed

'Poor Angel.' Kevin whispered.

We looked at each other and saw the same anger and helplessness mirrored in their eyes. What had happened to Angel was far worse then any of us could ever imagine.

She would have killed herself by now if her little brother didn't gave his life to protect her, after she had protected him for so long.

I wondered how she could continue, ripped from everything, ripped from what tied her to this world.

I sat down on the bed. Head in my hands as I saw Joe sink to the ground. Kevin gasped…

I looked up, in the doorstep, half hidden in the shadows stood Angel. She was holding the notepad with the papers she wrote on this morning.

'Angel!' I gasped, making Joe look up too. 'Angel… How, what, I'm…' I started.

'How long have you been there?' Joe asked. She very slowly wrote on the notepad.

_I found you reading_

I walked to her. 'Angel…' I whispered. I put my arms around her. 'How…' I swallowed and tried to speak again put she pushed me off.  
Well she tried, couldn't do it on her own so I let her go

She wrote again, longer and even more slowly this time. Head bent down, shoulders hanging. Her dark hair fell in front of her face. Her green eyes hidden.

'Angel, we wanted to help, we wanted to know what happened to you.' I said, still standing 4 feet away from her, but dieing to get to her and hug her together again.

She dropped the notepad, turned around and walked away. I stared after her. I knew this hadn't been a good idea, but I still thought it was the only way. Joe picked up the notepad lying at my feet. He frowned. 'Nick…' He said and showed me the pad.

_Sorry you saw that, sorry I bothered you with that, I'm sorry you hate me now_

No, no, how could she think that. Didn't she see that none of this was her fault? Didn't she know? We loved her, she was our little sister.

She was the most amazing strong and selfless person on this whole world, in our opinion.

I didn't know when I started to run; I just knew I had to find her. I looked everywhere in the house, calling her name.  
I went outside and ran till my sides hurt like hell, but compared to the pain she must be feeling, that was nothing.  
Compared to the hole in her heart, everything turned to nothing.

I didn't found her. She was nowhere to be found.

When it turned completely dark outside I slowly walked home. Greeted there by and extremely worried Stella, Macie in tears hugged by Joe who also got some tear marks on his cheeks.  
Kevin embraced me. 'It's not your fault Nick. I knew I was against it, but it was the right thing to do. She would've never told us on her own.' He said.

'I know.' I whispered a bump in my throat. 'But I still hurt her. Again and I can't stand that.'

Kevin sat back on the couch. I saw dad making angry movements to a phone in the kitchen, while mom sat on a kitchen chair, biting her nails. Looking even more worried then Stella.

Stella hugged me also. 'No trace of her? Nothing at all?' She asked. I shook my head, no.

'Her room?' no. 'The park?' no. 'The music studio?' no. 'The mall, the book shop?' NO!

I sat down on the ground. Stella named all the places she loved and would go to. Where was she?

'Did I miss any more places she likes?' Stella asked.

'Wait!' Joe almost shrieked. 'I know where she is!'

I immediately stood in front of him. Grabbing his shirt. 'Where?'

'Roof.' He answered simply. Of course.

In a matter of seconds I fled up the stairs and went to the window. I ran up the iron stairs and saw her.

She was sitting there, picture of sadness and pain. Hugging her legs.

'Angel! Angel…' I whispered. 'I'm so sorry, so, so sorry.' She just looked up at me. Pain I have never seen before in her eyes.

'We don't hate you Angel. We never could. Nothing of it was your fault, we love you!' I said. Trying to convince her. Trying to make better what only she herself could heal.

If she only let me in.

I heard the rest of them coming up the stairs. They stood still when they saw us. Both in pain. Different pains, but alike in so many ways.

I continued. 'What happened to you is horrible, what happened to Stephen, your mother, your father is terrible! Nobody blames you for being the way you are Angel. Nobody hates you for what you did, when you did so well.'

Kevin fell in. 'You did everything you could, you never let him down, never ever could you let us down. You're so brave and strong, caring.'

Joe finished. 'You did extremely well, for someone in your position. Hell, even better then people who are in a way better position. You can't blame yourself Sissy! It wasn't your fault! Never! How can it be, when you worked so hard, did so well.'

Macie stepped up. 'I don't really know what happened; I just know you're one of the first persons that I immediately trusted.'

Stella also tried to help. 'Pain is good, Angel. In a way. I know it is hard, but it let's you see you did everything; you aren't the monster the murderer here! It let's us see that you are willing to risk your own life to safe another.

'Honey, you're great, what you did, how you react after what you have probably been through. Please, let us help you; I know we can't heal you immediately.' My mom said and my father continued. 'Angel, we love you.'

I noticed Angel was crying, just like a lot of persons here on the roof. I hugged her. Followed by Joe, Macie, Kevin, Stella, mom and dad.

We hugged her and each other. 'Cry, Angel. It's okay. We will be there for you.'

She trembled; her little body shook of the sobs and the tears.

'It's all over Angel, you're safe with us.' I whispered in her ear. She heard it, she believed it.

I felt her body relax, leaning more in to us. Eventually, her eyes dropped and her body, exhausted probably, went limp.

'She's asleep.' I whispered, I was exhausted also. I saw Kevin lift up Angel. She was going to sleep good tonight, I just knew. No nightmares to wake her up. Not tonight, they would be there, but not now.

She was safe; she was okay, as okay as she could be.

Right?

Joe PoV

I woke up the next morning, by little nudges against my sides. I watched to the sides, Macie leaning against my shoulder. Softly turning in her sleep.

I smiled, I really liked Macie, maybe as more then a friend **A/N yeah, Macie/Joe, for Victoria, saw it on your profile, right? **

As I started to recall the previous day, I got more worried. I remembered hugging and soothing Macie and Stella, Kevin not much of a help, although Macie was the closest with him, but seriously. I didn't mind.

Nick had been busy enough with Angel… Angel, the little sister I always wanted. One I could help and spoil and ruin her chances with boys.

Though, this was a little bit different then I imagined. Angel was an amazing little creature; I knew she was very nice and once very happy and living.

I felt so sorry for her and if I ever got to meet that creep that called himself her biological father…

Really I didn't think he deserved the title father, my own father had been a better father to her then he had been.

I felt Macie turn again and I wondered where the rest of em was.

I looked around, we half lied half sat on the couch in the living room, we must have fallen asleep there.

I saw Kevin lying in a very uncomfortable looking position on the small love chair.

I had no idea were mom and dad were, Angel was probably in bed as was Nick. My poor little brother, he took so many responsibilities, way to much for him to be healthy.

Then, he was the best at it. The way he had formed a bond with Angel, I was really amazed and impressed with that.

How he had gotten her from a thin as air, almost falling apart, don't-look-at-me-I'm-not-here, to a small, in pain, please help me, person was amazing.

That didn't sound like it was better, but it was. The reaction he had gotten out of Angel, after only such little time was really amazing.

At first, she let nobody in. She was completely alone on the world, but he broke through, like only Nick can do. He got such an incredible bond with her. Like I have with Stella and Kevin has with Macie… I looked aside, she looked really peaceful. Did all girls look so innocent asleep? Angel had exactly the same, when she wasn't having nightmares.

We tried to help her as much as we could, but she was so hurt, I didn't even know where to begin.

Kevin had some sort of a clue, I guess, but not much more then me. My mother of course had used her incredible female instincts to get Angel to ease.

My father, he was as clueless as I was…

Macie yawned and her eyes flickered open. She blinked as she realised how she was lying. Blushing she sat up straight. Looking in all directions, but me.

I laughed, softly and said: 'good morning, up for a cup of coffee?' She looked at me surprised and I smiled my biggest smile (really it's huge!) at her.

She smiled back and we walked to the kitchen.

My father sitting there, reading the paper. 'Hey Joes, hey Macie!' He reacted.

'Hey dad!' I said, grabbed two cups of coffee and fell down next to him, Macie seated on my other side.  
I gave her the coffee and she thankfully started drinking.

'Guys, I have to go. I got called by the police station, you know, after the whole 'your fathers in jail' thing.' My father said to us, drinking the last bit of his coffee out of his cup and walked away.

Before he left he turned around once more and threw the paper at me. 'Here, read this and make sure Nick reads it too, he'll love it!' he said

I opened the paper, curious, Macie looking with me over my shoulder.

I saw something about cheap oranges in the supermarket, something about Iraq and the president going there, jail outbreak in the south of the country and some sort of superstar got caught on drugs use and even selling it to other people. Stupid people. Drugs destroyed lives, when would people finally see that? I wondered.

After skipping through some pages I found the article my father probably was referring to.

**CCC coming up! **The title said and underneath that stood: _This year with popular rock band the Jonas Brothers as special guests. _

It was a really nice article, with a lot of praising for our choice of singing with our stylist. I was really proud of myself, I mean; it had been my idea, right?

They also referred to our new sister and wished her good luck with us. I laughed at that part. Like she was worried about US.

I was really thrilled about the CCC's. It was one of the biggest charity concerts ever and it would give us a lot of good publicity, probably like bringing out a new CD and we would get a lot of new public. With also, not-fans coming to the CCC's. That would be really cool. Connecting with another group of music lovers.

Especially Nick was really thrilled about it. It had been his dream for years to perform at the CCC's. I liked it that he was going to sing with my best friend, Stella was a really good singer, she was just so shy!

Talking about Stella. She walked in to the kitchen; she had probably just gotten downstairs from the guestroom and had woken Kevin up.

They both walked into the kitchen and I threw the paper at Kevin. 'Kev, you have to read this!'

He looked at me and sarcastically said: 'Joe, I already know drugs ruin your life, I'm not interested in Oranges and the outbreaks will be back in jail in no time.'

I rolled my eyes, but laughed when I saw the teasing glim in Kevin's eyes. 'Not that, page 3.'

He was also thrilled about the article; I could tell he couldn't wait to play his beloved guitar up on the CCC stage.  
Stella gave him a cup of coffee also and we made some jokes about oranges until Nick came down, Angel following close behind.

'Hey Sissy! Hey bro!' I laughed enthusiastically.

'Hey Joe.' Nick said and Angel came sitting in the chair my father had previously been sitting in.

'Joe… you can be so weir sometimes, do you know that?' Stella said. 'Why does everybody keep repeating that?' I asked, mock annoyed.

A paper got placed in my hands. _Because you are… _it said.

'Gee, thanks Angel, way to go and help your brother.' I said, pretending to be hurt.

She couldn't have that and hugged me.  
It surprised me; the physical contact wasn't really one of Angel's specialties.

'So, are you feeling a bit better?' Macie asked. Angel looked at Nick, the weird thing I had seen before going on between them.

He answered for her.

'She feels better, knowing we all really care about her. We talked a lot this morning.' he started, but I interrupted her/his answer.

'Talked? sorry I have to ask, but how?' I asked directly to Nick.

He bit his lip, thinking before he answered. 'Mostly through the notepad.' He said.

'Oh, okay, continue.'

'Like I said, we talked a lot.' And he refused to say more.

Stupid siblings…

Nick PoV

I didn't say more to my brothers and our best friends, because the talk I had with Angel was very personal.

We had been sitting on her bed, because I immediately checked up on her after I woke up. She had been all right, like I predicted she hadn't suffered from nightmares. So I thought it would be safe to talk about… you know.

'How much does it hurt?' I asked bluntly, it wasn't supposed to blurt out like that, but I guess she didn't mind.

_Like there's a hole, cut right through my soul_ she wrote _like happiness is never to return when I think of them and how they will never return to me._

'I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked.' I apologised, but she just shook her head.

_No, it's okay, it's nice to talk about it, at least with you…_ her hands flew over the white paper _it's not your fault, it hurts, but you make me feel better, in a way. _

I smiled 'Good. Talk about everything you want, I'll listen.'

She told me about Stephen, it was hard to listen to, knowing how he found his end, but the stories she told me about him, the smile spreading across her face as she was sitting there, Indian style; legs crossed. I knew it was okay to talk about it, more then that, she needed to talk about it.

_You know, I'm happy you were the one to find the journal_ she wrote _I didn't thought anybody could care about me after reading that._

'Why are you thinking that, we all are only more impressed by how strong you've stayed during all of that?'

_Maybe it's like that to you, but to me, it's different, I don't know why. I feel weak, because I didn't do anything, anything would've been better, for Stephen as well, even __an orphanage. _

'You did well; you were only 12, weren't you?'

_Eleven…_

'Eleven, I mean, what were you supposed to do. Give in your father, give up your brother? It's not weak Angel, it's completely logical what you did.'

_Thanks, it means a lot__..._

I noticed Angel was a really nice person talking to, even with the help of the notepad needed. Easy to talk to, like I had noticed before she was easy in a lot of ways. Easy lovable, easy to talk to. Just not easy getting to, but it was working out.

Yes, I had noticed the weird bond between Angel and me, but I liked it. It's like I can feel her presence. I sort of feel how she's feeling.

Sounds weird right? Even weirder then Joe sometimes.

Something, in the form of a newspaper, harshly ripped me out of my thoughts. 'Hey!' I told the person holding the paper, Joe, naturally. 'What was that for?' I saw a lot of the others giggle. Angel had a slight smile, still hugging herself.

'You were sitting there like a zombie, dude. Really, what were you thinking about? Not that Penny girl again, eh?'

I pulled a disgusted face. 'No, of course not. I was thinking about…' I glanced at Angel, her face curious. 'Chocolate milk! I don't like coffee, want some Angel?' I quickly answered, shooting up.

She nodded, so I gladly made us both some choco hot coco. 'Here you go, madam.' I said and put the chocolate in front of her.

'Nick, will you finally look at the paper now?' Kevin asked a little bit annoyed.

'What about the paper?' I took a sip from my choco.

'Read!' Joe, Macie, Stella and Kevin all yelled.

Me and Angel both almost dropped our cups, I had to put mine down really quick to catch the paper that got thrown my way.

I glanced at the front paper. 'Oranges?' I asked. They seemed to find what I said very funny and started laughing at my confused expression.

'No dummy, not the oranges and not the drugs either, the article is on page th...'

She didn't got to finish her sentence, because Angel sharply gasped, her cup and all of her choco fell to the ground as she stumbled back. Her eyes almost as scared as the day we took her with us from the orphanage.

'Angel, what is it?' I asked. What could've alarmed her?

She pointed at the paper. 'You're not scared of oranges are you?' I asked.

She shook her head no, but the question seemed to calm her down. She walked back and shortly pointed at a small article, pulling her finger back immediately, like she would get burned.

I looked at the article.

**Mass jail outbreak in southern California**

_Is the security of this country going down?_

In the article stood a lot of nonsense about security and non schooled guards, followed by a list of escaped criminals.

_Damien Calvin_

_Loyd Adams_

_Paul McSaint_

_Paula Johnsson_

_Tank Savage_

_Mike Adams_

_And…_

James Stevens…

Damn…

**DON'T HATE ME!!**

**I'm sorry, I admit it… I'm mean; I made ANOTHER cliff-hanger**

**Still, you could've seen this coming; it's really predictable isn't it…**

**I just couldn't resist. **

**I wanted to put some more happiness in this chapter, but this just fled in to my head**

**  
Don't cha think Joe is übersweet in this chapter…?**

**Cause**** I certainly think so…**

**As**** is Nick**

**And**** Kevin**

**And...**

**You**** get the point…**

**Like it? Love it? Hate it?**

**REVIEW IT!**


	8. music suites the soul

**So yeah, chapter 8 people! **

**I really am not in the mood for sadness, so this is going to be a happy chapter. **

**Yeah, you read it good. ****A HAPPY CHAPPY!**

**Hnn. Me like…**

**Please enjoy**

_James Stevens_

_Damn_

Nick PoV

I stared at the name, Stevens, like Angel's last name, it was her father. Damn it, her father had escaped from prison.

Why, when everything was just going good, something would ruin it completely.  
I finally, we all finally thought Angel was safe with us. She was, but would she be so certain about that.

I looked at Angel. Her own arms hugging her tightly, but she had a very soft expression on her face.

'You okay?' I asked her. She nodded and moved to the notepad, still lying on the table.

_I'm not going to let him hurt anyone again. Not you, not me, I refuse to…_

I shot her look, I was so proud of her. I knew she was probably scared to death, I mean, I could feel it.

Still, she tried, maybe a little for us. To be strong. I vowed right then and there, never ever to let anything hurt her. Not her father, not anything.

Joe, Stella, Kevin and Macie all glanced over my shoulder. 'Aww, Angel!' Stella smiled.

Kevin just hugged her softly, while Joe high fived Macie, I mean, you could call this some sort of a break through.

A soft tear ran over Angel's cheek. She looked at me; I saw fright in her eyes. I winked, and I hoped I gave her a look that told her what I just vowed.

Once again she wrote something on the notepad, _thanks, but your choco is getting cold and I want to know what's in the article. Please?_

I smiled, realising she didn't want to talk about her father and walked back to the table, Angel following close behind. We both grabbed a side of the paper and found the article they probably wanted us to read.

It was an article about the CCC's! Our names were in it a lot! Even Angel, Stella and Macie were in it!

I glanced aside, Angel was still reading, but finished the story short after me. She beamed at me. She knew this had been my dream for like, forever!

I glanced at the clock, talking about concerts, we had one tonight and we were supposed to rehearsal some songs and moves in the stadium in about an hour.

Luckily it was a concert right here in LA. 'Guys, we probably should get ready, we got to go to the rehearsal.' I said to Kevin and Joe.

I didn't like leaving right now, but we needed to rehearse with the dancers.

'You're right Nick, we should.' Kevin said and immediately after that answered Macie's unspoken question. 'Sorry girls, I don't think Thom will like you coming, but I have to be really wrong if he doesn't have 3 little backstage passes for tonight.' He said and winked.

I looked at Angel, eyes wide. I remembered this was probably going to be one of her first concerts ever. Coming with that it also was our first concert with her. I smiled; I'd love to let her hear some of our songs. Right there, I got a brilliant idea

Kevin PoV

We sat in the limo, Joe Nick and me. On our way to the lightning stadium. We were supposed to give a concert, organised by Disney.

We had rehearsed before, but I hadn't thought about it since the day Angel got in our lives.

She owned us, owned us I tell you.

We got greeted by Thom and the technical crew. Thom let us work hard, that was why he was Thom and no one else.

We did a lot of songs and practised some dance moves we had to do. They had to be done good, if we wouldn't move the right way we would get in the way of the dancers and not funny close to the fireworks.

All the songs went pretty well, although I had to get used to the new guitar I was using. Joe's voice was a bit hoarse, so I got him a protein drink when we got a break from Thom, who was distracted by Nick. Nick had some or another request, I didn't know what, but knowing my little brother, it would be good!

I brought the protein drink to Joe, along with a banana. 'Thanks man.' He thankfully accepted the drink, but frowned at the banana. 'Where'd you get that?'

I pointed at the table with drinks on it. 'They got a fruit basket.' Joe looked thrilled at my answer. 'Really, that's so cool!'

He looked at the table and his eyes widened. 'aaaaaaah!' He half screamed.

'What?' I asked worried, maybe he hurt himself. 'There's a kiwi in that!' he pointed at the basket.

I immediately understood, Joe hated Kiwi's, deeply, deeply hated them. I rolled my eyes 'It's just a kiwi Joe. Get over it.'

Joe was now glaring at the kiwi, as if it was going to fade away if he just kept looking at it. 'I could get it for you, so you can throw it away?' I asked.

He just waved my question away and stood up, leaving the protein drink behind. He walked towards the table and the fruit basket.

'AAAAH! NO! THERE ARE TWO OF THEM!!!' He yelled after he glanced at the basket, quickly half running away from it.

I grabbed his drink, rolling my eyes again and followed him.

After we were done with the rehearsal, we got back with a normal car. I was driving, Nick in the passengers seat and Joe in the backseat.

'The concert tonight is going to be awesome!' The backseated person said.

I agreed. 'Yeah, I hope the fans will like it.' I put my vision back to the road.

'Definitely, but I want you guys to learn some more then the songs we rehearsed today.' Nick said in a mysterious voice. Getting confused looks from me and Joe.

He just smiled and held up some papers.

'Read it, like it, dream it if you have to. Just learn it, please?' he said. I shrugged, I always liked to play guitar and play new songs. This was probably a new song Nick wanted to try out. Of course Joe wanted some more explanation.

'Why on such a short note, bro?' he asked, leaning in between our seats.

'You'll see, it's just something to make sure Angel likes her first concert with us.' I looked aside. What he said was true, I hadn't even thought about it like that.

'Smart one, lil' bro.' I said, looking back at the road, we were almost there. 'Joe, will you take my paper from Nick, you can give it to me later.'

'Sure.' He said and put the papers in his bag as we stopped at the house. We all jumped out, Nick first, of course.

'I hear music.' Joe stated, tilting his head to the right, listening.

I also heard a familiar tune coming from inside the house. 'That's live to party…' Nick said. He was right, that was our song.

We walked inside, finding Angel sitting next to the CD-player. She obviously was listening to one of the CD's dad gave her.

I grabbed the guitar standing close by the door and started playing with the song. Joe fell in immediately.

Angel looked up, surprised. The music just got live.  
Her face broke into a typical man-I'm-so-glad-to-see-you kind of face. She got up from the floor and jumped in Nick's arms. For a few seconds she looked like one of those cute monkeys, hanging on to their mothers, their safety. She quickly let go. Bits ashamed of her enthusiastic greet.

Still she hugged me and Joe too, before going back to the CD player. The next song was play my music.

I noticed Nick tapping his foot to the beat and Joe swinging his hips just a little. Hmm, idea!

I started to dance, really crazy like to the music. They at first looked weird at me, but Joe quickly joined me.

Angel laughed, mouthing, not singing the words from the song.

She and Nick also joined us, and before we knew it we were all dancing to our own songs.

Not like we had rehearsed today, just for fun and really crazy. Just the four of us. I grabbed Angel's hands and swinged with her from side to side. She even spinned a few times. She reacted to touch so much better these days. Sweet little thing.

We had a lot of fun, until Angel fell down exhausted on the couch. We all stopped and laughed at her. Her face was just so, happy looking right now as she laid there, small and heavily breathing from the dancing. I sunk to the ground also. I saw Joe sit against the couch and Nick sat down next to Angel. She wrote something on her little notepad.

_Music helps…_ it said.

Yeah, it did…

That night, Macie and Stella came over early; normally they would stop by after dinner. Today they were here early, earlier then we expected. The show wasn't supposed to start in another 2 and a half hours. They said they were coming for Angel.

Why, they didn't tell us, but I could figure out the great lines by the look on Stella's face, she always wore that look when she had made a really great peace of art out of one of her clothes.

I had been right. About an hour later they came down again, Angel with them. Looking, like Angel, Stella did her job well, but different.

She was wearing skinny jeans, tighter then the ones she usually wore, but the fabric looked soft, so her wounds should be able to bear it.

She wore grey with purple converse and a long sleeved white top.

She was pretty stunning and perfect for going to our concert.

Stella had already picked our outfits quite a time ago, so that wasn't a problem.

T-shirt with jacket, skinny jeans and sneakers for Nick. Blouse and jeans with boots for Joe and for me; a button up shirt, a pair of black pants and leather-white boots. Fake, of course.

We took the limo, naturally and it was one hell of a stunt to actually get to the stadium. The place was covered with people.

I saw Angel looking out of the window, amazed and maybe even a thrilled expression on her face.

I hope she could handle the screaming.

Macie, seating in between me and Joe, just looked happy she was here with us in stead of out there. Not that she hadn't liked back out there, but you get the point.

Stella was calm, she was used to it.

We all got backstage and we made ourselves ready for the concert, it was going to be great!

I saw Angel 'talking' to Nick. I hated the fact that she didn't talk, but understood it also. I just wanted to hear what her voice was like. Right now she was probably writing about the concert, I hoped this would make her forget a bit about her father and the fact she didn't talk a lot.

I hoped Nick's surprise or whatever it was, turned out good.

'Oh yeah!' Joe sang the last words.  
The concert had been great, the fans were fantastic and I got one of my old guitars. One I was used to.

I saw the girls standing half hidden backstage. Looking at the concert from there. I gave them a wink.

Stella laughed, Macie only had attention for Joe and Angel seemed to enjoy her self by softly mouthing the words to the songs.

I played one more note and the song ended.

Wow, this was so great!

'Hey everybody!' Nick said in the microphone so the whole stadium could hear him. 'So guys, you enjoying?' He asked.

The stadium went nuts. 'Yeah, I thought so too!' Joe cheered.

'So, you guys don't know the next song. It's completely new, to you anyways, but it is dedicated to a really special person. She came in our life a while ago and we all embraced her in our hearts, you would do the same, I swear!' Nick went on with his story. 'This song belongs to her, our little sis', the new Jonas sister and our lovely Angel. We love you, enjoy her song everyone.'

The crowd cheered enthusiastically. This was new to them and I could tell the were really excited, about the new song and Angel.

We started to play the song he gave us this afternoon. I recognised the tune.

I thought I was cool  
But I just looked a fool for so long,  
Now you're gone, now you're gone,

Don't speak to me,

don't speak to me

I recall all the fights  
Most of all, all the times where you would lie in my arms  
Now you're gone, you're gone  
Don't speak to me, don't be lying

There's a lot you don't notice  
when you read between the lines  
The future's out of focus,  
when you're blinded by the light.  
It's a hope for all the hopeless  
In the worst of trying times  
I resort to being speechless  
Cause our love won't survive  
Our love won't survive

Don't speak a word  
Don't speak to me,

don't speak to me

There's a lot you don't notice  
when you read between the lines  
The future's out of focus,  
when you're blinded by the light.  
It's a hope for all the hopeless  
In the worst of trying times  
I resort to being speechless  
Cause our love won't survive

Nick ended the song, all of the fans screamed their lungs out, like it seemed.  
I looked to the side again and saw one of the most wonderful images ever.  
Angel was standing there, tears in her eyes, but also, the brightest smile ever on her lips.  
She had recognized the song, her song.  
I had to sweep away a few tears to. Saw Joe do the same, but Nick made no attempt to.  
He was just looking at Angel, a smile on his face and I realised what this song and him singing it must mean to Angel.  
Damn was I proud of my little brother!

**Yeah, happy chapter, I knew I could do it!  
So the kiwi thing actually happened to me today. Only not with Joe Jonas, but with ****me and my friend Mesh.  
I really do hate those disgusting things, no offence.  
I'm really proud of this chapter; I think I needed to dig a bit in to Angel's happiness after breaking through her wall.**

**You like it? Please review!**


	9. let the demons go away!

**DON'T KILL ME!! **

**I'm so so so so, incredibly sorry for not updating T.T**

**But time's killing me! Please don't finish the job! (It would be really bad for the story, although it would help me write sad things…)**

**I've got SEVEN! Seven! Tests this week, plus normal homework, I have a dance performance this weekend and my parents were being annoying with trips to the woods and stuff...**

**So, my honest apologies!**

**About the last chapter**

**CRAPPY AS HELL!**

**Sorry for the words but I re-read it and I really thought it sucked…**

**So, in this chapter, there will be more of my lovely pain and suffering, muhahaha**

**This one will also be longer then most of the chapters (not counting in 'story of an angel' chapter)**

**Enjoy :wicked grin:**

Nick PoV

I was supposed to write new songs, new lyrics for the band. New songs for the CCC's for god's sake!

The thing is, I just couldn't. I didn't know why, I didn't know how. I just couldn't.

My mind drifted away, I knew it, but didn't stop it. It drifted to the previous night. The concert here in LA. It had been great as usual. The fans were excited and all of our songs worked out fine.

Still, the best thing was Angel, the look on her face, her emotions, emotions I had never seen on her face this bright. It was all so overwhelming.  
When the concert had ended and we gave a lot of fans autographs, pictures and all the Jonas-merchandise was sold, we went backstage and she had flung herself in my arms. Her fragile body had never been so, so, relaxed. Like she finally had come to the point where she could trust us. Some of her pain lifted of her small shoulders.

After hugging me she had thanked Joe and Kevin with a really thankful look. They understood, were very pleased actually.

They knew I had broken through the defence Angel had built around herself. I was in the bubble, on the other side of the wall. Don't know, there was no awkwardness or pain when I would hug her, when she would hold on to my arm, scared of the fans.

I just couldn't tell how happy I was, being in the bubble on the other side of the wall. The feeling of her trusting me was... just plain great.

I absent mindidly strummed some strings on my guitar, it sounded nice, but nothing came to me. No words, no lines, no music.

I tiredly ran my hand through my hair. It was pretty late, probably about twelve thirty.  
Once again my thoughts wondered off, once again to Angel.  
She was okay now, she looked okay. Didn't she. I heard mom say it, I heard the doctors say it. She was doing well.

Then why wasn't I relaxed, why couldn't I get anything to work?

I put down my guitar and walked towards the stairs. I walked up, towards the door that now said 'Angel's room'. As usual it was half open. She didn't like sleeping with the door closed. I think it had something to do with the urge to get out of the room quick if that was needed. Old habits never die.

I saw light in the room and I slowly peeked around the corner. The light was on, but Angel was fast asleep in the bed on the left side of the room.

I saw her small, slim body curled up underneath the silky white sheets. Her dark hair waving out and seeming even darker on the white pillow.

I sighed, it looked so peaceful, but her face said otherwise.  
Her eyes, recently sparkling, showing a little of the joy she used to have at hearing me sing her song, were now closed tight. Her mouth was half open, like she was trying to breathe, but didn't have any oxygen.  
I was wrong, mom was wrong, the doctors were wrong. She was far, FAR from okay. I thought, as I saw her body tremble. From what I saw in her eyes, after those horrible nightmares, they weren't lovely. Naturally, she didn't tell any of us, not even me, but I could see what she was hiding.

Her brother, her father, maybe her mother. Her happy memories and her bad memories. They haunted her, every night again. Was she paying for yesterday's joy? Is the pain sucking, pulling her back into his cold arms?

I walked to her bed. Picking her up, because I knew she wouldn't wake up. The nightmares wouldn't let her go that easily. Tears ran over her cheeks, her chest shook with quiet sobs as the dark shadows from her past haunted her.

'Shh, my angel. Don't be in pain. I hate seeing you in pain.' I whispered.

I truly did. I hated seeing her like this, not able to do anything. Just hold her and hope the worst would be over soon. Hoping the shadows wouldn't torture her so much this night.

'Hey bro, are the nightmares back?' I heard Kevin's voice coming from the door. I looked up. He was standing there in his PJ's. Eyes concerned.

'Yeah, they always do. They will never let her go.' I said. My voice sounded scratchy and hoarse.

He looked at her, my sadness reflected in his own eyes. He walked towards me. 'I know, I know. She's stuck, stuck in the pain her memories are causing her. Stuck in her stupid self blame.' He said looking down to us. 'And she can't do a fucking thing about it.' I spat through my teeth.

Her face turned, away from my angry hiss. She shrunk even more, she seemed to fade away.

'How can we get her out of that cyclus? Why can't she take another way?' I asked while my fingers softly stroked Angel's dark hair.

'Like a racetrack.' Another voice said.

I recognised the sleepy voice of Joe. I looked at him, standing in the doorway in a pair of boxers and a t-shirt. 'Like a what?' I asked confused.

'Like a racetrack. She has to go with it, round after round. She can't take another way; a racetrack is always the same. Always the same rounds, turns to the left, never to the right.' He said.

'Wow, Joe. That's deep.' Kevin said. I nodded in agreement. Joe just ran his hands through his hair. 'We just have to find a way to make her turn right.' He said and walked my way. In his hand he held a stoop. **a/n ???**

'Here, that will help. She's always so cold.' He stated. I nodded and put her back in her bed. The best thing to do right now would be to let the nightmares wear off.

''—''—''—''—''—''—''

_I was running again. Towards something I could never get, I turned left. Trying to find what I was looking for.  
What was I looking __for?  
I stood still, completely frozen in place. My arms around my own torso. I looked around. _

'_Who's there?' I tried to say, but I couldn't. So I stood completely quiet, watching the shadows creep up to me. _

_I stumbled backwards and fell. Rolling in to a tiny ball. My hands against my ears so I wouldn't hear the horrifying screams and pleas. _

_It didn't help. The tallest shadow started to take form. The face of my father looking at me._

'_Little whore, you send me to jail. Your own father. You never helped me, you only drowned me more.' Pain shot through my body. I crawled back from the shadow, bumping in to a wall. I tried to close my eyes, but I was forced to see. _

_A smaller figure appeared. 'I was happy do die, so I would never see you again. You fucking annoying little bitch.' My mother spat. Another wave of pain filled my veins. Tears running over my cheeks. _

_The shadows grew in number; all of them were faces I recognized. __'I never liked you.' one said. 'Who ever could?' Another one laughed._

'_Pssh, she thought she tried so hard. She wasn't trying hard enough. If she did, maybe she would be dead and we would all have a better life.' I still wasn't prepared for the knife ripping through my body, like it was the knife my father used to punish me with. _

_The smallest shadow yet appeared. I stared at him. Torture already building itself up already._

_The shadow said __nothing; it just stood there, staring at me. Eyes ice like cold. Dead eyes. _

_He stared at me, not even trying to hug me, not even trying to smile like he usually did when he saw me._

_My fault, my fault, my fault. _

_That's when I realised the wetnesses on my cheek weren't tears._

_It was blood, his blood. _

_Stephens blood._

''—''—''—''—''—''—''

I shot op in my bed. Like a lightning bolt hit me. I quickly climbed out of my half sunk in the floor, drum-bed and looked around me.

Angel! Shot through my head and fright pounded through my veins.  
I ran up the stairs. Eventually finding Angel in her bathroom. Blood on her hands, smeared all over her face and pink pyjama's.

Paths of tears making their way through the crimson liquid.

Damn, why did mom and dad have to go to the stupid business meeting this weekend?

'Angel, damn, angel. What did you do?' I said as I examined her hands. Of course I was the only one in my family who knew something about first aid.

I saw the razorblade on the floor. 'Damn it Angel.' I said. Looking at her green, now mixed with crimson, eyes. She didn't look at me; she was just sitting there, like she was waiting for me to punish her for what she did.

'Angel, I'm mad you did that. You really shouldn't.' I told her. I mean, she could kill herself so easily. Her body was still recovering; her way to small wrists could be cut through in just the matter of seconds.

She was back in the pain. Fighting, struggling, but never getting out of it.

I softly pulled her head up, so she was looking at me. 'That doesn't mean I don't love you anymore. I just don't want you to hurt yourself.'

She nodded. Yeah, she nodded. Like she could bloody help it.

I brought her downstairs and cleaned the new wounds. I made a mental note to myself to order Joe to hide all the sharp things in the house. Not that I not trusted her, but I didn't trust the shadows that took over her body at those moments.

After that Kevin made us breakfast. (The guy is a genius with guitars AND food) Me and Joe made sure she ate enough.

'Um, guys.' Joe began, after breakfast. Putting his glass down.

'Would you mind if I was out for the day?' he asked. While we looked at him surprised. Even Angel, who had came back to herself after our soothing presence and Kevin's brilliant breakfast.

'Sure Joe, since when do you need our approval?' Kevin said to him, shrugging.  
I also didn't give it much, but Angel scribbled something on the milk-carton.

'He is going to Macy's basketball game.' It said. I looked at her. How did she know that? She just stared at her empty bowl again.

Apparently she was very observant. Stupid question, of course she was. She loved to look at us doing what we did.

'Joe? Is that true?' Kevin smiled while Joe got bright crimson.

'So?' He countered defensively. He stood up from his chair and walked to the stairs.

'That's cool Joe! I hear they're great players!' Kevin screamed after him. I couldn't help but chuckle.

Joe slid down his pole. 'Yeah, sure. I just, you know, I like sports.' He stubbornly stated.

'Sure you do Joe, almost just as much as you like Macy.' I smiled.

Muttering, but with a soft smile on his face, Joe left the house.

Me and Kevin looked at each other and started laughing. 'Wow, I wondered how long it was going to take before he realised.' I said in between laughs.

'Yeah, so, true.' Kevin could barely speak. I saw Angel softly smiling at us. Obviously happy because we were. However there still was a hint of crimson in her green eyes.

Why couldn't she turn right? Turn right, turn…

I got an idea. 'Hey Angel. You want to help me with my songs today?' I asked. Ignoring Kevin's fading laughs and hiccups.  
She nodded

Yes!

''—''—''—''—''

We sat in her room; still don't know why we always ended up there. It just seemed peaceful; she (with the help of Stella) had done a really nice job with it. Obviously Stella had helped her with picking accessories, probably ordered from internet. I knew it had been Stella, because Angel herself would never spend money on her own room. Although we said she could use everything that was ours.

I also knew it had been Stella, because everything was colour matched. Purple, silver and white. It was really serene and balanced. That was good. It suited her. Angel was usually very calm and well, pretty serene. Not balanced, far from that. You'll understand that part…

'So I was completely stuck with song writing and believe me that almost never happens.' I began. She nodded, I think even with a voice she would be a good listener.

'But once again I got inspiration, coming from you.' I continued, while she looked at me with big eyes.

'And seeing that you wrote such a beautiful song last time. I wondered if, maybe, you would like to help me with this one too?' I asked smiling.

Her mouth formed an O and she nodded after that. She liked writing. I could tell, being a writer myself.

The journal, the song, her way of expressing herself.

She wrote again on the notepad lying between us on the bed. _'What do you have?'_ I read.  
I thought about it and decided I would just show her. **A/n wow, you've so seen this one coming**

Pick up all your tears  
Throw em in your backseat  
Leave without a second glance  
Somehow I'm to blame  
For this never-ending racetrack you call life

Turn right  
Into my arms  
Turn right  
You won't be alone  
You might  
Fall off this track sometimes  
Hope to see you on the finish line

Driving all your friends  
at a speed they cannot follow…

She just listened to my voice. I could feel she liked it. _'It's wonderful'_ the notepad told me and I gave her a huge smile.

'Yeah, my songs usually are.' I said smugly. 'But I'm kinda stuck here.'

She pointed at the 'turn right' part and wrote: _'chorus?'_ I nodded. _'If the friends can't follow her, she'll be alone right?'_

'Yeah, point. So whatcha got in mind?' I asked. Giving her the lyrics-paper.

'_Something about…' _she thought for a while and then wrote down: _'Driving all your friends. At a speed they cannot follow. Soon you will be on your own, somehow I'm to blame. For this never-ending racetrack you call life'_

She let a part from the previous verse come back and it really suited. 'Nice!' I complimented her. 'And after this the chorus comes again, and I thought maybe we could use some echo in it?' I continued.

'_That could be nice, maybe on the first, third and fifth line of the chorus? At turn right, turn right and you might?_

'good idea, and for the next verse I was thinking about something about doing everything you can, but a road, referring once again to the racetrack, that isn't made for you to follow is stopping you and…'

We continued like that for a couple of hours. Angel even helped me with the duet for the CCC's. It was a really nice song. I had to speak to Stella about it, but I was sure she was going to love it.

We decided to let nobody else know the whole song before the CCC'S. The musicians would only know the music and the crew would only know what to do with the lights. That way it would stay a surprise for everyone.

When I said we continued like that, you shouldn't take that to serious. We ended up lying on the couch, watching a movie that was on TV. I had already seen it, but it was fun to watch Angel looking at it. Pretty fascinating.

Everything was going like that until about eight PM. Joe still wasn't back and nobody of us was even bothering to find out where the hell he was. He would come back. Hopefully with his arms finally around Macy.

At about eight PM Kevin yelled from downstairs that he was going to the mall for some shopping and possibly a movie with the new girl from the guitars-shop.  
Me and Angel looked at each other and rolled our eyes at exactly the same moment. Kevin yelling asked if we could handle it. After another eye roll I screamed that he had to go now or never ever watch a movie with a girl again.

He left pretty quickly after that.

Me and Angel continued to watch TV; some Idols/Pop star thing was on. It was fun to watch and sometimes one of our songs would flash by.

I went to grab some popcorn and drinks from the kitchen during the breaks. Thinking about what kind of notes and accords to use on the new songs we wrote. I should teach Angel how to play the guitar, or maybe the piano. I wouldn't be the only pianist then.

I should just teach her both.

I was humming to myself when it struck me. It was peaceful and happy tonight. Maybe even normal.

That didn't work.

Jonas and normal, that wasn't … normal. The worst thing was: happy, cheerful and Angel usually didn't mix together. Not yet anyways.

I suspiciously scanned the kitchen. It seemed normal.

Witch made me even more suspicious. So I hurried up the stairs…

It was like I was in Angel's journal.

A man with a chocking grip on Angel's fragile neck. Fright written on her face. Struggling to get out of the hands that seemed to fit perfect in the scars.

I dropped the plate with food. 'Let go of her this instant!' I yelled, not knowing what came over me.  
I lunged at the guy, trying to get him to release Angel. Dead eyes stared at me, deadly and very angry.

'You're the little whore's new screw huh?' He whispered his voice as sharp as the razorblade that had hurt Angel this morning.

'She's not worth it.' He spat at me. She cringed at his voice, anger flooded through me! How dared he!

I knew who he was. I knew what he came to do.  
Finishing the job of murdering his children. Finishing off the last part of what once had been his family.

I didn't saw nothing of her in him, but I knew who he was.

This was James Stevens.

Angel's father…

And by the looks of it, he was about to kill her.

And me with it

**Wow, all the bad things happen in the commercial break of Idols. Don't you think?**

**I hope this chapter made up for my absence a little bit? **

**I will be updating as soon as I can, but the fact that I'm writing this when I should learn for French and musical history proves that I really have not time, so that won't be as often as you're used to…**

**I'm sorry, but I'll try my best because I love ya'all!**

**If you like it, please spare some time to review me. It really inspires me (and makes me skip my homework earlier (: bwahaha)**

**SO PUSH THE BUTTON AND LET ME KNOW!**

**YOU GOTTA: PUSH THE BUTTON!!!**

…

**O well, you know you love me (:**

**Xx, silver**


	10. devil meets angel

**FINALLY! Y'all think, **

**Well, so do I. This was certainly a LONG week. But my tests went well, so I'm free to make you all happy peppy with a chappy wappy!**

…

**Never mind (:**

**I think you're dieing by now to find out what happens …**

**So I won't bore you with my stupid babbling **

**Enjoy…**

Angel PoV

After all those years, I would've never thought I would feel this way again.

Safe, hopeful and all of it done by this wonderful family, who secured my, adopted me and loved me. Especially one of them.

Nick, I don't know what it was, but he found the little spark and blew it back to a soft flame. No, not a fire. Absolutely not, but he helped. He gave me his trust and his love. They all did.

Although I certainly didn't deserve it. I wasn't selfless like they said I was. I was selfish, for staying quiet in a singer's family.

Still, here I was. Sitting on the couch, watching a television programme. Something I'd almost never did back in the house or in the orphanage for that matter.

I knew I shouldn't, happiness would only fire back on me. It would get me, suck me back and punish me for being happy.  
Like this morning, everything just went red and black in front of my eyes. My whole body was limp, painful and sore. Every scar seemed to be torn open again, as were the never healed wounds inside my chest.

So I had tried to release some of the pain inside. Maybe it wouldn't hurt so much then.

So I made new cuts next to the old ones. It hurt, yes, of course it did, but nothing could compare to the shadows still lurking around. Gripping every chance, every thought and hurt me with it.

I had put my hands over my ears, trying to block them out, smearing the crimson blood on my face too.

I didn't know when Nick, sweet Nick came. He just was there.

I cried, not because of the cuts. I had hurt him, made him angry. I was such a horrible person. Still, he told me he only was hurt because I was hurt.

He still loved me. Love, not like, or not feel sorry for. Love.

It held me, like he held me. Like a warm blanket and the delicious choco milkshake Kevin had made.

That one little simple word, it made all the shadows go away. It blocked the pain, at least for a while.

Kevin and Joe had helped him, they were so nice, so sweet and I couldn't even thank them. I couldn't repeat the simple words.

I was happy when Joe had announced he was going. Not because I didn't wanted him around, far from that.

It was because I knew where he was going, when even his brothers didn't. I had seen him buy the tickets 2 days before. I was happy because I had seen the way Joe looked at Macy. The way she cot even more clumsier then she already was around him.

Hopefully she wouldn't get clumsy during the game.

Kevin left too, saying he was going shopping and _maybe_ going to a movie with a girl…

I was happy, because he was happy.

Eventually Nick was the only one keeping me company, but I didn't need much else.  
His brothers, their parents. They helped keeping the shadows away, keeping the pain at a distance, but Nick. He was a shield, with him. I couldn't see the shadows, even though they were there. With him. The pain seemed to dull, till almost nothing.

He was like Shephen had been, even though he said I was the Angel. He was, he was like my personal angel.

I didn't mind watching the pop-idols thing. He liked it, so I enjoyed it too. In fact, every time one of their songs passed by, I felt proud. Proud that I knew him. Helped him with his songs.

I loved doing that. I had always enjoyed writing. The feeling of creating things out of nothing. Making them real, beautiful. Like he did with music.

I should've known, I should've seen it.

When Nick went down to fetch us (himself) some things to eat (I still didn't eat much. My appetite disappeared when I though of Stephen, how much he would've enjoyed this) I heard a weird noise. Sending a chill down my spine and making me tense up completely.

I should've known, I should've seen.

I heard the floor crack and I was about to run downstairs, to Nick's safe arms when a pair of fingers sneaked around my throat. Fingers I knew very well.

'Where are you going sweetheart?' the voice of my father asked. 'I'm not done with you yet.' And the hands tightened around my throat. I thought about how much I would disappoint my new family. I thought about Stephen, who gave his life for mine. How that sacrifice was now wasted.

I heard a crash, a gasp. 'Let go of her this instant!' Nick's beautiful singing voice now screamed. Terror in his voice. Did he really love me that much? Going against my father?

I felt the same terror, maybe worse when Nick lunged himself at my father. Trying to get him to release me.

'You're the little whore's new screw huh?' my father's voice sneered. Tears burned in my eyes. I wished Nick shouldn't have to see this, shouldn't have to hear what my father would say.

'She's not worth it.' He spat and I knew it was completely true. He was going to finish what he started. Finish me off like he wanted before Stephen sacrificed himself.

'Yes! Yes she is! You're so blind, so damn fucking stupid that you don't see that! She is worth it! She's worth so much more!' Nick's voice screamed.

I opened my eyes in confusion, black spots blurring my vision.

I felt my father fall back, releasing me. I thankfully inhaled needed oxygen. I hadn't realised he was choking me. I fell down, my knees unable to support me. Dejavu…

I turned around and saw Nick struggling with my father. 'She took care of you! She helped you! She never gave you in!' He screamed in his face.

'Stupid! Damn! Idiot! Of! An! Unworthy! Can't even call yourself a father!' He would pay for this, I knew that and I was right.

My father hit him straight in the jaw, in his stomach and once again on the side of his head.  
Nick fell back, against the couch. I crawled to the side of the bank instinctively. I took the phone standing there, pushed speed dial and crossed my fingers.

I heard a crack and quickly turned around. My father had broken a leg of one of the chairs. He was walking towards Nick.

'I'll finish her later; the little bitch isn't worth living.' He said. 'I'll make sure you'll be somewhat alive so you can enjoy the show.'

I dropped the phone and I think I went paler then I already was. He was going to hurt Nick, like he had hurt Stephen.

He was going to kill him too. He was going to take what I loved again.

Loved?

Yes, I loved Nick. Sweet, beautiful voiced Nick. I could talk to him and feel safe with him. My father would not hurt him. Would not scar and scare the face I knew so well.  
Like he hurt and scared Stephen! My father wasn't going to take that away, not again!

I was selfless now, I can admit that. I couldn't live with the idea of having another dear person hurt because of me.

So I forced myself to stand up and to run to my father. Walking straight into his ice cold, stone like chest. I let my fists come down on it. Hoping it would help, hoping it would give Nick enough time to get away.

He didn't. 'Angel!' he just half screamed, half moaned because of the hits against his jaw. I kept struggling with my father, releasing all the pain I had on him. Every shout, every time he had scared Stephen. Every hit, every kick, every cut and every insult, I let it come out. Tears streaming down my face, struggling and forcing him to go back. Away from Nick.

Away from the new found and only hope I had left. It would crush his brothers, his parents, his friends; it would crush me if he'd get hurt.

Would they be crushed if I got hurt too? I wondered. Did they really care so much as they told me they did?

My head was getting clearer with every time I hit him and forced him to back away. Surprised and not used to me resisting him.

He wasn't surprised very long and hit me with the piece of chair, full force on the side of my head, in my face and in my side.  
'No Angel!' Nick cried and I felt him by my side, supporting me and forcing me behind his taller body. 'Try that again!' he threatened.

Obviously my father would and I saw the piece of metal hit his shoulder, I felt him wince in pain he was not used to.

'Little bitch!' my father spat at me. 'Resisting me! How dare you!' he spoke with a slight double tongue. He was tipsy, if not drunk.

I felt sad; he never stopped drinking after mom's death. I felt sorry for him. I really did, but there was no reason to take it out on Stephen. Maybe not even on me.

'I will kill you, I will, slowly and painfully. I will send you to that brat of a brother down to hell!' He screamed and tried to get to me, but Nick stepped in between him and me. 'Never!' he calmly said. Angry my father punched Nick again with the metal and again and again. Forcing him to back away.

'Get out of my way! I will send you after her. Loving my daughter, the unworthy little… just like her mother.' He yelled

'For your information, she's more lovable then you are. Filthy child abuser!' Nick spat, hands around his stomach where he just got hit.

He made my father only angrier. He pulled something out of his pocket. Something very familiar. Something shiny, strong and silver coloured.

The knife…

He swung it back, but it never reached the goal it was meant for, it never reached nick's chest.

It reached mine…

''—''—''—''—''—''—''

Mhhhmm, her lips were so soft, they tasted like chocolate, delicious chocolate.

I didn't know how we got at this point. My lips against hers, but I loved it. Her hands around my neck, in my now very messy hair. My hands around her waist.

Eventually she broke away, still hugging me. 'You know this is like a dream come true for a huge Jobro fan girl like me?' She said.

I chuckled. 'Yeah, you know this is a dream come true for me? Joe from school instead of Joe of Jonas?' I asked and made her laugh too.

Damn, I loved her laugh. It made her eyes shine and it made her downright adorable.

I was about to continue kissing Macy when my phone started ringing…

Seriously, after a whole night of peace they called now? I sighed annoyed, but she just laughed and got the phone out of my jacket.

'Hi, this is Joe's phone, he's a bit busy right now so he has to call you ba…' she said, smiling at first, but that smile quickly vanished. In stead came horror as she quickly handed it to me. I pressed it against my ear. This couldn't be good.

I heard nothing at first, but some muffled noises and some irritated groans before I heard what was obviously Nick's voice, but far away and sounding hurt. 'Angel!' he yelled. I heard more sounds and lowered the phone with a scared look at Macy.

'That was…' I began. 'Nick with…' she continued. 'Angel and…' I said. 'This can't be good.' She finished.

'Damn!' I moaned, I should've never left!

The person I left for took my hand and told me to stay calm and call Kevin. So I did, screamed at him that he had to get to the house immediately because something was really wrong.

After that she dragged me in the direction of my car, as soon as I understood I started running. Macy half beside, half behind me.

I jumped over the front of the car and I had it started in record time.

None of us said anything as I raced home. Hoping to get caught by police. You'll obviously understand why.

''—''—''—''—''—''—''

Nick PoV

Everything seemed to move in slow motion. The knife getting pulled out of a pocket, after witch it got send my way.

Angel, little and right now very weak catching it. For me.

The knife sticking out of her torso. Her falling down as her father laughed at her sight and my face.

Me catching her. Laying her down on the ground. Checking to see if I could help her.

A kick against my ribs, a sharp jolt of pain and a voice that said: 'Let her die, she's better of dead.'

A slam against the speakers chin. The sound of the metal, me picking it up and letting it make contact with the face once again.

The thumb of the now unconscious body, falling on the floor.

It all went in slow motion.

I looked at the man lying across our floor, before I dropped the metal and turned around back to Angel.

Blood, the same crimson I saw this morning, dripping from the wound and drenching her shirt.

Her skin paler then I had ever seen it. The little flame I had seen was now completely gone.

I froze, she couldn't go! I started moving when I realised she might.

I ran over to her and took her in my arms, letting the knife stick inside her chest, knowing I would only damage her more by removing it.

I thought it were her tears that wetted her face, but I found out it were mine. As soon as I realised I tried to hold them in, but failed.

'Angel, come on, stay with me Angel.' Would it be possible that the girl I closed in my heart? The girl I could talk to, really talk to. The girl that made me smile more then I ever did.

'No, Angel. You can't leave. Come on lil' sis!' I practically begged her.

The door slammed open. 'Nick?!' Joe heavily breathed. 'Angel!' Kevin yelled.

I heard two female gasps and two male groans as Kevin, Stella, Macy and Joe saw me sitting there with Angel.

Stella's hand flung towards her phone and I could hear the three beeps. I saw Joe run towards the bathroom, probably getting first aid as Macy and Kevin approached me.

'What happened?' Kevin whispered, kneeling in front of me. Mace sitting next to him, eyes worried.

'Her father.' I tried to speak, but my throat seemed closed. So I nodded towards the body of James Stevens.

I heard Kevin scream to Stella to call the police to, but I was to busy chanting. 'Live Angel, don't leave, don't you dare. Live Angel, don't leave…'

Once again I felt like being in her diary, as the cops came and the paramedics forced Angel out of my hands.

''—''—''—''—''—''

I sat in the waiting room, my head bowed. Hoping, begging. That she would be okay.

The others were here too. Just like mom and dad. They had been there too when I told the police about what happened. It was hard, but not as hard as waiting.

Joe and Macie were sitting together. Staring at each other, or just at the wall. Arms around each other and I wished I could put my arms around Angel. Comforting her like I did after the nightmares.

Stella was sitting next to me. She was holding my jacket, talking to mom and trying to soothe us all at the same time.

Kevin watched the clock tick slowly.

We waited.  
The others switched partners sometimes. Kevin comforting his best girl friend Macie, as did best friends Joe and Stella.

I just sat and wished my best friend was here. When it was her we were waiting for. Mom and Dad kept asking doctors if they knew something.

None of them did, although they promised to take a look. Not one came back.

After what seemed like hours the doors finally opened and a doctor called the Jonas family.

'Hello, I'm Doctor Johnson. We have been treating your daughter Angel, correct?' She asked. Dad nodded.

'Well, I have both good and bad news.' He said as we all looked up.

I could live with anything as long as she was going to be okay. 'Good news first.' Mom said.

'She's stable now. We'll have to watch her for some time, but we hope she will be fine.' She doctor said.

No one dared to ask, except Joe of course. 'What's…' he gulped. 'The bad news?'

'Well, you won't like to hear this.' She sighed as we all tensed up.

'But we think she might turn out to be pretty hurt after this, her mental health might be really damaged.' She said.

We all looked at her…

Really, ya think?

**I'm ending it here, please tell me what you think (:**

**I really want some reviews, it will absolutely make me write so much faster (and better, for that matter)**

**This was SUCH A SAD SHAPTER T.T**

**I'll try to update, but as I said before, everybody and everything is driving me nuts!**

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW PLEASE :puppy pout with angel's pleading eyes:**


	11. our angel

**Hey guys, another chapter! Yay, **

**So my performance went great and my homework is finally on a normal level (although there still is a lot)**

**But, since I love you… I decided to write you a nice piece of work.**

**You probably have to thank Ms. ****Adisonforever**** too (told you I write faster with reviews) **

**On with the story!**

**As you probably noticed, I skip time here and there. I think Angel is with them for a month or two/three now. Although I didn't write all that time. I am going to explain some of the stuff here, like what they started to like about Angel. It's not sad, but it's not happy too.**

**Oh and by the way, I never said last chapter was going to be happy, I said you were going to be happy because I updated, right?**

**And um, I do not own and stuff (I always forget that kinda stuff)**

**Oh and I do own the plot (yay me!)**

**And…**

**:receives multiple glares:**

**Um… yeah, let's start with the story **

**Enjoy**

Nick PoV

I sat in the chair behind my music desk. It was the place where I always wrote my songs. I was supposed to write a new rocking song, since Angel and I already wrote the slow song.

Today was not a rocking day, so the only thing my pencil would write were sad lyrics.

I wasn't alone like usual this time of day, don't get me wrong, I like being alone so I can write in peace, I mean, my brothers aren't usually much help unless they've got some good reasons for a song. **A/n yes, I made Nick the 'song writer' here, like in the series.**

But since James Stevens got into the house and nearly killed me and Angel. Nobody was leaving me alone. Good reasons though, but it was annoying.

If it wasn't Kevin jamming with me, Joe dragged me in for a nice Xbox game (witch I always won) my mom would ask me to help with dinner and dad was constantly talking about random stuff. Like I would be attacked again if I was left alone.

I could understand, they, for a moment, had thought I was dead. Heck, they had believed Angel really was dead, with the bloody knife sticking out of her chest.

Damned James Stevens, I was really glad I had the chance to give him a few deserved punches in the face.  
Normally I wasn't violent. I was usually the peacemaker. But that guy, the way he spoke to her, hurt her. I saw it in every movement of her body.

The police had arrested him, dragged him off and I hoped we would never see him again.

I hoped he would get a lifetime in prison. He deserved that, the man was crazy, drunk, violent, abusive and a downright monster.

If only they could prove it, but the only thing that could prove him guilty was currently laying in the hospital, in critical condition on the intensive care. Where they hoped she would be fine.

Did I mention our prove doesn't speak too?

I sighed and turned the chair around so I was looking out of the window behind me.

Angel, poor thing, my little sister! Unconscious and hurt once again. I had thought she would look small and vulnerable in the big hospital bed.

But she hadn't.

She just had looked like she was in a lot of pain. Stiff, not moving, not holding her head a little to the side, like she always did when she listened to you.

It scared us, although we all tried to be brave, I could see through them. I had become good in reading people lately.

Joe was feeling guilty and horrible. Mom was feeling sad and horrible, dad was angry and horrible, Kevin was just feeling horrible.

They all loved her so much, she was easy lovable. Her way of making you smile, when she touched your face in comfort. Her smile breaking through after a joke. Her amazement when we played or sang. Her soft little frame sitting in a chair, writing. How she would laugh at one of our stupid actions and make sure those stupid actions didn't go really wrong.

I smiled, Angel was great. Her personality was amazing and it was like she had always been here and belonged here with us. I have absolutely no idea why, she just fitted. Not completely, because her being was still a bit incomplete. But the sides of her we could and were allowed to see, well, we loved them. She cooked with Kevin; she would help Joe with his English homework.

Did I mention she was really intelligent too?

And she helped me with songs and gave me a lot of inspiration.

She listened to us when somebody had something on his/her heart. She would try to help and comfort them, even when her own comfort was still broken.

The six of us, my brothers, Angel, Stella and Macie. We were the best of friends and with Angel everything just seemed to fall in its place.

Like she comforted us, we all comforted Angel too. We would hold her through her nightmares; hide away everything that could hurt her when her shadows took over her. We helped her with her homework.

Did I mention she sucked at physics?

I smiled again.

We hadn't known what we were missing until it came along.

Kevin PoV

I walked out of the shower and pulled a T-shirt over my head. I sighed, the house was so quiet. Everybody was worried about Angel, my poor little sister. I loved her so much and now this had to happen to her, as if she hadn't gotten enough in her life.

Luckily she had us and Nick for that matter. She changed so much, to the good. We had seen the little scared caterpillar change into a beautiful little butterfly, with some cracks in the wings of course.

Lame example. I know.

Everybody had been so chocked about what happened. It was so unreal. Our little girl once again abused by her father, who by occasion also almost killed our little brother.

I shook my head, talkin' about my little brother. I saw him sitting in his songchair. Staring out of the window, head in his heads. He especially got crushed with Angel lying in the hospital. I know what he felt. I had felt that when my best friend, Macy, got in a car accident a few months ago.

I walked up to Nick. 'Hey, Nicky, wake up man. Angel's not getting better by you staring out of the window.' I said.

He looked up. Worries in his eyes. That was so Nick; always worrying about things he couldn't change.

'yeah, Angel's hurt, but she's strong. You know that better then everyone. You've read her diary, you know her better then any of us. Have you seen the power in that girl! I know you've seen it. You can't get her that easily. If anyone can survive this it's her.' I told him sternly. 'But you're not helping her by sitting here.'

Nick looked up at me. 'You've got no idea. You don't know why she's in the hospital.' He whispered.

I looked at him confused. 'By her father, like thousand times before.' I answered. 'You know that too.'

He shook his head. 'She's there because of me.'

I looked at him chocked. 'What? What do you mean?' I asked. 'Nick!'

He looked at me. His normally warm eyes cold. 'The knife was meant for me Kev. He wanted to kill me. It was pointed at MY chest.' He said.

My eyes grew three times their size. 'What?! Nick you can't be serious.' To my horror he nodded.

'I wish he had.' He whispered.

'Don't say that! You don't want to die do you? She's going to be okay!' I half yelled at my stupid brother. Normally he was so clever.

'It's not that Kev.' Nick shook his head again, like he wanted to get something out of it. 'I wouldn't have died. I was too tall and I'm strong. It wouldn't have hit vital organs.' He said and I finally understood where he was going. 'It only went in her chest because she sacrificed herself for me!' He stood up angry. 'Don't you see what she's done?' He yelled at me. 'She protected a brother once again. Love punished her again. The shadows got back to her! She protected a brother whatever it may have cost her!'

I stared at him. 'What do you mean, love punished her? What are the shadows?' I asked in horror. Did she really hurt herself to protect a dear one again?

'The shadows of her past. They don't let her be happy. She was punished because she loves me! You know that! She can't bear seeing people she loves getting hurt. Not with Stephen and not with me.' He sat down again, picture of helplessness. 'Damn it Angel!' He yelled. I grabbed his shoulders and forced him to look up at me. 'Nick! Nicky! LISTEN TO ME!' I told him. 'If you see that you have to see what more she's done.' He looked away from me. 'When she protected Stephen, she took the punishment and the hurt for him. Yes she did do that now.' I said when he glared at me. 'But this time, you told me yourself, she went against him to protect you. She fought with her father! Doesn't that count for something?' I spat at him.

As on cue, Joe came running in. 'The hospital called! Angel's heartbeat is going up!' He screamed, but Nick was already at the door before he was finished.

I grabbed mine and his jacked and hurried after him. Joe still in the door. 'Joe come on!' I yelled and threw his jacket at him.

We all ran to our car and drove to the hospital.

**Yep, short chapter, ****next one will be up tonight! but I just hit my head really badly, and I don't feel like writing anymore. Sorry**

**And I thought this was a nice ending… just a chapter about nick (and Kevin) ((and a liiiiitle bit of Joe))**

**I promise there will be a next one up tonight! PROMISE!!!**

**:) love ya all!**


	12. the awakening

**Jup, next chapter as promised.**

**Next promise: you will be surprised**

**Enjoy**

Nick PoV

I almost jumped out of Kevin's car, before I got stopped by… Joe.

'Easy tiger. Stay cool.' He urged. I took a deep breath and laughed at him. 'Good, go!' he said.

I walked, fast but not running, in to the hospital straight to the elevator. I knew where her room was.

At the fourth floor, the floor of the intensive care, I saw dad.

'Hey dad!' I said, catching up with him, quickly followed by Joe and Kevin. 'How's she?'

'She's, doing good for what happened to her.' Dad answered my question. Okay, that didn't sound good, but it was better then nothing right?

'Where's mom?' was my next question. 'With Angel, naturally.' Was my response.

'Oh okay.' I muttered and we spend the rest of the walk to her room talking about nothing in particular.  
Dad stopped at room 717. 'Nick, how bout' you go in first?' He said, holding the door open. I nodded and walked in.

There she was, the same image as last time.

Way to stiff and unmoving, the weird needles and tubes sticking out of her. Strange coloured liquids dripping their way in to her bloodstream.

Next to her was my mom, staring at Angel's face. Eyes puffy. I put my hand on her shoulder and smiled when she looked up.

'Oh Nick.' She sobbed and embraced me. I patted her back. 'Shh, mom. It's going to be okay. She's tough; it takes more then a stupid knife to get her down.' I said, repeating what Kevin had told me earlier. 'You're right, as usual, honey.' She said, rubbing her eyes. 'It's so hard; I've grown to see her as my daughter. She is really.' More tears made their way down her Latino cheeks. 'I know mom, all of us have.' I soothed her.

She smiled. 'I look horrible don't I and you probably want some time with her. You two are so...' She didn't finish the sentence, but kissed me on my forehead. 'Be good honey.' She told me, before leaving.

I looked over at Angel. I've seen enough television programs and I've read enough books to know that unconscious people sometimes hear you. Or when they don't it helps them to find their way back to life. So I sat down, wondering what I would say.

But without deciding I just followed my instincts for once and started singing.

Pick up all your tears  
Throw em in your backseat  
Leave without a second glance  
Somehow I'm to blame  
For this never-ending racetrack you call life

Turn right  
Into my arms  
Turn right  
You won't be alone  
You might  
Fall off this track sometimes  
Hope to see you on the finish line

Driving all your friends  
At a speed they cannot follow  
Soon you will be on your own  
Somehow I'm to blame  
For this never-ending racetrack you call life

Turn right (turn right)  
Into my arms  
Turn right (turn right)  
You won't be alone  
You might (you might)  
Fall off this track sometimes  
Hope to see you at the finish line

I did all I could  
And I gave  
Everything  
But you had to go your way  
And that road was not for me

Turn right  
Into my arms  
Turn right  
You won't be alone  
You might (you might)  
Fall off this track sometimes  
Hope to see you at the finish line

I looked at her blank face. Remembered previous times I'd sung her back to life, or sang soft lullabies to make her go to sleep. It always worked. Music had influence on her. This time it left me, this time she didn't got back to me.  
I couldn't make her turn right. Her shadows were too big for me. Her pain too much, her silence unbreakable.

I sighed and just held her hand. 'Come on Angel. You can do this. You don't need me, you're strong. Fight the shadows, fight.'

''—''—''—''—''—''

_Once again I laid, crawled into a ball, my back against a wall. Shadows looking and sneering at me from everywhere I looked. _

_My father, mother and Stephen clearer then ever. _

'_I got to you again; I can do that whenever I want. You know what they say. Three times…' my father threatened. _

'_Why don't you just go away already, everybody is sick of you.' My mother growled. _

_Shephen just stood there and looked at me. Hate and disgust written on his face.  
The knives they send through my body were more vivid then ever. Pain, everywhere. Ugly shadows crawling over each other. Moaning and screeching. Hate and pain surrounded me. _

_The rhythm of their insults, their sneers, their threats, their growls, was pounding through my body. _

_Images of my mother, dieing, light leaving her eyes. My father, drunk and passed out on the couch._

_Mom, covered in blood. Stephen, scared and screaming. My father, his fists slamming into my body. Steven, dead. _

_They all flowed through my mind. Each of them hurting more then the knives. _

_The shadows crawled over me, consuming me. Pulling me into their darkness. I knew I wouldn't get away. They finally got me…_

_Then, through the rhythm of the screaming shadows, came the most heavenly sound I've ever heard._

'_Turn right.' The words said. 'Turn right, you won't be alone.' They said. The shadows backed away from the words.  
I wouldn't? But I was always alone. I'd always be. I thought, the shadows pulling me down deeper, drowning me. _

_I would always be alone; everything I loved was taken away. Why would anybody care for me?_

_Deeper, deeper. Everything was pitch black… the beautiful sound was gone. _

_The last thing I heard were soft, whispering words. Almost echoes. 'Come on Angel.' They said. 'You can do this.'_

_I couldn't_

'_You don't need me, you're strong.'_

_Was I?_

'_Fight the shadows, fight!'_

_I started struggling. Moving my body in twists, trying to get the shadows to release me. _

_New memories erupted. Joe, making jokes I just had to laugh to. Kevin, putting his jacket around me, leaving himself in just a t-shirt._

_Mom, trying to make me eat more, telling me how beautiful I was. Dad, winking and giving me a pair of sneakers to replace the stiletto's mom bought._

_Nick, strumming on his guitar, smiling at me. _

_My father, ruffling my hair, telling me how much I looked like my mother._

_My mother, telling me and Stephen stories. _

_Stephen, smiling and hugging me. _

_They cared, they did. _

_I struggled even harder now. Kicking around, even though that hurt. I'd take the hurt, they were not getting me. _

_If what I was, was good enough for those people. It was good enough for me. It was good enough to live._

_I was good enough._

_I fought my father hadn't I? Because he had no right to hurt Nick, no right to hurt me. No right to hurt Stephen._

'_He didn't huuurt, sssteepheeen.' The shadows whispered. Pulling at me and trying to drag me back. _

_This time, their voices weren't clear, they sounded weak and desperate. _

_No! I thought. My father had hurt Stephen, because my mom died, because he went insane!_

'_you are guiiiiilty.' They tried again._

_No I'm not. I told the shadows sternly. I tried, I really did. I did everything I could. I loved Stephen with every bit of my heart. _

_I still do_

_The shadows backed away from me. They wouldn't get me. I would go back; I would find the voice that loved me.  
I wasn't the reason Stephen died, I wasn't a brat, I wasn't worthless_

_I am Angel. I am strong. I fought. I did and lost. And still… they love me._

'_Noooo, they doooon't' the shadows tried one last time. _

_Yes they do! And I love them too, with all of my heart!_

_With that, the shadows vanished, disappeared in piles of smoke. _

_I floated up, back to the light. The faces of my Mother, my father and my Stephen waving at me. Smiling._

_I reached the light._

_I opened my eyes. _

_I've never seen so bright_

''—''—''—''—''—''

I sat in the chair next to Angel. In the last couple of hours, her heartbeat had sunk to almost nothing. After that it went up in an alarming range.

Doctors came and went. I just sat there, holding her hand. Like I held her here.

Mom was sitting on the other side of the bed. Joe sat in the window frame. Switching his gaze from outside to Angel and back.

Dad and Kevin were sitting in a two person's seat.

We were all waiting. For the worst, but hoping for the best. Or at least better then the worst.

'What did you do exactly Nicky?' Joe asked out of the blue. 'When did I do what?' I asked back.

Joe rolled his eyes. 'What did you do after mom left that caused her heart to go crazy?' He clarified his question.

'I... I sang to her.' I answered. Had my singing caused this? Had she really heard me?

My mother shot op. 'Maybe you should sing again, all of you.' She said. 'Maybe it'll reach her again!' She continued, hope in her voice.

'Who sing what?' One Stella Malone asked. Walking in to the room. Joe's head shot up when he heard his best friends' voice.

'Stella!' we all yelled. She just laughed. 'Yeah, it's nice to see you too.' She got serious. 'How's she doing?'

We all looked back at Angel. 'We don't know.' Kevin answered honestly.

'Who doesn't know what?' one Macy Misa asked. Walking into the room. Both Kevin and Joe's heads shot up.

'Macy!' We all yelled, again. She blushed. 'Hi!' she softly said.

They both found a place to sit. Stella next to Joe and Macy next to Kevin. They started talking to their best friends whispering.

I sighed and looked back at Angel's face. I never whispered with my best friend, though I wish I could.

'Her heartbeat's gone up again.' My mom said concerned as we all looked up to the heart monitor. The knife had almost hit her right lung and slightly damaged some fleece by her heart. The doctors said that was causing the heart malfunction.

The atmosphere in the room dropped to below zero.

'Um, so.' Macy shyly said. 'You still gonna sing at the CCC's with Nick Stella?' she asked eventually, trying to easy the tension.

'Um yeah, I think so.' Stella answered, looking at me. Half asking if it was true, half asking if it was alright to talk. I nodded and answered: 'Yeah, I think I got the lyrics somewhere around here.' I searched through my pockets with one hand, the other not leaving Angel's.

'Here you go.' I said, as I gave her the lyrics.

She read it, everybody trying to read over her shoulder. 'Oh Nick, this is beautiful!' she smiled, pressing the paper to her heart.

I slightly smiled and moved my attention back to Angel. 'I'll learn them for the CCC's.' Stella muttered.

'Thank you Stella.' I answered. Making sure she understood.

We sat in silence, good silence, but way to quiet silence for another half hour.

That's when it happened. Angel's body trembled and she took in a large gasp of air. Her head moved from left to right and then went completely still again. We all watched her in fear and hope. Looking at her face.

And her eyes opened. Now we were the ones taking gasps. Her eyes, they had always been a beautiful colour of green. But the orbs looking at the ceiling and then to us were more then beautiful.

They were a wonderful and shiny emerald colour. Like spring leaves and morning grass. Like the most beautiful gems you've ever seen.

'Angel.' I whispered, forgetting her eyes and happiness rushing through my body. 'You're awake!'  
She nodded and smiled. A real, vivid smile. Like an invisible blanket had been removed from her face.

'Are you… okay?' My mother asked. She once again nodded and closed her eyes, creating a picture of peace before reopening them and looking around in the room. Obviously curious. She smiled at Stella and Macy and tried to wave at Joe, Kevin and my dad, but failed.

Then she looked at me, hoping, begging I would understand and with looking in her eyes I knew.

The shadows normally clouding her eyes, they were gone. She had fought them and won.

What did that mean? Was she better?

I looked in her eyes again and saw the answer.

No she wasn't better, not okay, but she was ready to heal.

I smiled and spoke, knowing she wanted me to: 'She's fine' I said, everybody switching his or her attention to me. 'She has fought, she won.' Everybody started to smile. 'She's fought the shadows of her past, she isn't better, but she's ready to heal.'

I got another look from Angel. 'She loves us; with our support she fought the darkness life's given her. She's…' I paused. I was amazed.

It was there, but I couldn't believe it. 'She's what? Nick!'

'She's ready to tell her story in her fathers' trial.' I finished my sentence.

I smiled at her. I kept forgetting what an amazing creature my little sister was.

She carefully sat up, wincing, trying not to move the needles and she softly embraced me.

She was okay; she had been strong, like Kevin had said. She finally saw what we saw all along.

It was good, damn was it good.

**Oh yeah it was!**

**Damn, I'm proud of this chapter, I hope you enjoyed.**

**If you did, I'd really appreciate it if you'd review. **

**Because this story has more to it! This isn't the end.**

**Reviews are always very dear to me, cheering me up after a long day of school and giving me a nice kick in my laptop's direction.**

**Please, tell me what you find funny, sad or nice about this story.**

**Love, silver**


	13. hell happiness

**bwahaha, I wrote this at school. Very cheekily.  
****My grades are dropping because of you guys.  
Mwah, I don't mind, because I love you. (If you write a review that is :)**

Stella PoV

I walked in to the Jonas firehouse, A few bags around my shoulder. In it were the outfits for the CCC's. I was so excited, but very nervous too. I always mess up in public, that's why I worked behind the scenes.  
The first thing I saw when I walked in to the Jonas house were Nick and Angel, sitting on the kitchen table. In between them were Nick's lyrics papers and Angel's notepad. They were writing songs again and probably silently discussing what would be better to do with the music. Piano, guitar and etc.  
you could she the contours of Angel's bandages beneath her shirt. I winced at the idea of the knife in her chest. I wondered how Nick must be feeling, he saw it for real.  
'Hey.' I said. They both looked up and a pair of brown and a pair of green eyes looked at me, curiously observing the bags on my shoulder.  
'Hi Stella!' Nick said and Angel waved at me. Smiling brightly. 'What's in the bags?' Said Nick.  
Angel pulled his sleeve and looked at him with a 'duh' kind of look. He watched her for a second and said: 'Yeah, you're right, I just want to know what kind of clothes.'  
I smiled, the way Nick understood what she was saying was really cool. I hoped to hear her voice once. Now that she was 'healing' that _was_ possible, right?  
'Well, you just have to wait. I'm not revealing anything until the CCC's' I smiled cheekily.  
'Aww, come on Stells.' Nick whined. Me and Angel exchanged a look; I had to make sure to make a wonderful outfit for her that matched her eyes, before Angel quickly distracted Nick with something on her notepad.  
I walked towards the stairs, meaning to go to the boys' room and the Stellavator. In the Kitchen I met Mrs. Jonas. 'Oh, hello Stella.' She said. 'How are you? Are you staying for breakfast?'  
I smiled. 'I'd love to Ms. Jonas.' I said and returned her kiss on the cheek. After that I walked up the stairs, noticing Mr. Jonas on the Phone. He waved at me, smiled and then shouted: 'I don't care that you're out of workers. We need people to set up the stage!'  
I quickly continued.  
Up the stairs I saw Joe, finally somebody who wasn't busy. I could always count on my best guy friend. 'Boo!' I shouted in his ear. He jumped and spun around.  
'Stella, jeez. You like to scare people to death?' He asked, dramatically putting his hand on his heart.  
'Nah, just you.' I teased back. I knew he would never be angry with me, unless I did something really bad.  
I never did anything bad. Problem solved.  
Together we walked to the Stellavator and I hung the clothes inside. Inserting a code so the boys couldn't sneak peek.  
'Where's Kev?' I asked Joe. 'Out with some girl.' Came the response.  
'From the music store?'  
'yeah, Danielle?'  
'Good for him.'  
Together we slid down the poles into the room where the rest of the family, except for Kevin, was seated.  
We ate breakfast and then me and the guys went to school. Waved out by a smiling Angel, who gave Joe his lunch he always forgot.  
I hadn't missed school really, but it was nice to be back. Though, from the looks on the pupils' faces, I'd say they were already looking forward to the next vacation.  
'I wish Angel could join us.' Joe sighed. I nodded. I knew what he meant. I missed her too. We had became pretty good friends, now that she had opened up a little and her 'Shadows' as Nick called them, were sort of gone.  
'Yeah, me to.' Nick said. 'It feels wrong that she's not with us, but mom's right. Until she's okay, she's not doing things that could hurt her or tire her. We're giving her all the time she needs and don't forget she's still recovering from a critical stab wound.'  
'yeah, remember that time with the car accident?' Said Kevin.  
'yes, Macy didn't came to school for almost 2 weeks.' Joe agreed. Suddenly a dark haired girl with big brown eyes popped up.  
'You Macied?' She asked, flushed. We all looked at her. 'How'd you do that?' Nick asked.  
She blushed. 'I wasn't spying on you, if that's what you're implying.' She unconvincingly lied.  
'Aww, Mace!' I moaned, shaking my head. Joe, as usual, agreed with me.  
'You know you don't need to do that, you're my, I mean, our friend.' He said, stumbling over some words. Both of them were bright red now.  
'Oh, by the way.' I began, a grin on my face. 'How'd the game go Friday-night?' I saw an equally evil smile appear on Kevin's face.  
'Yeah, did you won?' He asked. Naturally Macy answered: 'Yeah, 42 against 34.' She said, pretty proud.  
'I oh didn't mean you; I was talking about Joe actually.' Kevin told her, smirking at Joe. Said Joe glared daggers at Kevin, but then seemed to lighten up.  
I so was getting all the details in biology.  
'If you really want to know, I did.' Said Joe and he swung his arm around Macy's shoulders and started to walk to the classroom.  
I'd get the details later. I thought and smiled at my best friend, finally getting together with her crush. Joe of school.  
Still smirking at how good my Stella senses worked out again I high fived Kevin.  
'Yeah.' He said. 'I'm the most awesome sidekick ever!' And he walked off to his class.  
I saw Nick roll his eyes and walk off too.  
This was going to be an awesome day. With lots, and I mean LOTS of details.

Angels PoV

I was laying on the couch, turning the page of my favorite book. The hunger games. It was one of the three books Nick gave me at our trip to the little mall. Talking about the mall, I'd have to ask mom if we could go sometime again. I had grown at my stay at the Jonas house. Now that I got decent food. (And three big brothers, who were a good example of good appetite) I was probably about 5.4 ft. tall now, plus or minus a few inches.  
I put down the book and walked towards the great bathroom. I took off my xxl Jonas-brothers T-shirt and looked at myself in the mirror.  
All of my previous wounds were pretty much healed, only the scares were visible now. I observed, saw that my usually pale and small face was now normally colored and had a cute roundness to it. Complimenting my round green eyes.  
Around my chest and back were white bandages. Covering the nasty stab wound my father had given me.  
I shuddered at the thought. The memory and even more the fear off Nick getting hurt was haunting and made me anxious.  
Still, since that day, the day I actually fought my father and had the strange experience with the shadows, my nightmares and the tight stiffness in my body were gone. I gave my mirror a puzzled look.  
It was clearly there, visible in the green eyes staring at me. Hope, an emotion I had forgotten a long time ago.  
This time even without feeling the need to do something back. Usually I would've done anything to get even with the person. This time was different because I knew I didn't have to.  
The love they gave me was free and happily given to me.  
I walked up the stairs towards my room and put on a pair of more fitting jeans and a long sleeved top.  
'hey honey.' The soft voice of mom came. I looked over at the door and gave her a smile. 'You're bored aren't you?' She asked.  
I shook my head. I knew better then to be bored.  
'Let's do some mother daughter bonding huh?' Mom continued. 'Let's go dress shopping, for the CCC's. It's coming by quickly. The boys are rehearsing like crazy. You've noticed. We'll stop by the bookstore as well.'  
I immediately was enthusiastic. The only thing better then my new family and music were books.

''—''—''—''—''—''

to my surprise I got recognizes a lot at the shopping mall. A lot of girls and boys came to ask me and my mom if we were really who they thought we were. The mom and sister of Jonas.  
My chest seemed to swell (in a good way) of pride. Yes they were my brothers and yes I was the Jonas sister.  
The smile on my face didn't leave its place for the entire time.  
'So Angel, dear. Are you going to the boy's practice tonight?' Mom asked. I looked at her. Was she telling me I could go to my brother's repetition? Something she had forbidden me for the last one and a half weeks?!  
'Yeah, sweetie, you've been doing so well. I think you can handle it.' Mom smiled at me.  
I almost jumped all my way to the bookstore, but that seemed a bit inappropriate. So I just happy danced a little. After that I hugged mom, trying to say: thank you, thank you, thank you!  
She patted my back and told me that we were going to the shoe store next. How many shoes does a person need?

''—''—''—''—''—''

I was reading my new book up in my room, when I heard them come home and walk up the stairs. I dropped the book immediately and slid down my glide. Swinging myself in Kevin's, Joe's and finally, Nick's arms.  
'Hey, kiddo! What have you been up to?' Cam the rhetorical question. I shrugged. Not much.  
After that I looked into Nick's hazel brown eyes to tell him why I was so excited.  
'How nice!' he exclaimed, carefully hugging me again. 'You'll love to see our performance at the CCC's, but practice is a lot of fun, although it's hard work.' He said.  
'She's coming to rehearsal?' Joe asked, searching for something, probably his phone, witch he lost an awful lot of times. He glanced up to see me nodding and then turned back to the cushions on his bed. 'Yeah, but I have to disappoint you, you can't convince her to tell you about the secret song.' Nick said, sitting down behind his desk. Joe pulled a face while tossing Kevin's phone to him. Kevin also lost his phone frequently.  
'It must be really good then, what's it about?' Joe tried.  
I let Nick talk for me and walked over to the bathroom, opened the shower doors and grabbed Joe's phone.  
I tossed it to him and rolled my eyes.

''—''—''—''—''—''

Like Nick had predicted, and Nick was usually right. The rehearsals were great. It missed the firework that would be there during the real show, but it was really good already. I was held company by Stella and Macy, who were cheering for me too.  
I think Joe sang better when Macy was nearby.  
Stella was called upon stage to run through her positions during the duet, curiously watched by me. I was ditched by Macy, she was probably with Joe. He was also not there, nor close by the snack table.  
It was fun to observe all of the artists. I saw the singers of Greenday and Metallica, P!nk, Demi Lovato, Katy Perry, Lilly Allen and I think I even saw Beyoncé and Miley Cyrus dropping by.  
A few of them recognized me, just like the fans outside of the building had. I think even I had fans. It was a strange Idea. Maybe it was because I was so close to their Idols.  
I was so proud of my brother and so happy everything went well. Almost every rehearsal went good and all of the artists had fun.  
I was glad my shadow's had vanished, especially at an event as happy for me as this one.  
Normally it would have been to much, too much happiness I would've been punished for. Yeah, with the shadows gone everything was fine, right? I thought. Not knowing how wrong I was.  
I hadn't realized I had fallen asleep, during P!ink's rehearsal of family portrait.

_My family, happily together. My father, healthy and not completely mental. My mother alive and smiling. Stephen, happy cheerful and alive. The only thing wrong about the picture was my absence. I panicked, why wasn't I in the picture? Why wasn't I where I belonged?  
Were they waiting for me? They didn't seem to. Had they forgotten all about me?  
Where was I, how did I fit in to this picture?_

'… so I was wondering if you could help me with that, I'm a bit embarrassed you know. Kevin would never let me live it down.' A calm voice broke the dream.  
I hazily looked up, a serious and concentrated Joe sitting next to me. I looked at him questions and doubt fighting in my head.  
'So you'll help me with the song for Macy? I wanted to sing it to her tomorrow after the CCC's.' He said.  
Now I understood what he was talking about. Singing a love song after the CCC's only for Macy, how romantic.  
Like my mother used to sing for me and Stephen.  
I shook my head. What happened to me? A few minutes ago I was perfectly normal and happy.  
I nodded my agreement and Joe walked away happily.  
The CCC's, tomorrow. What would they bring? I asked myself.  
It was the boys dream to stand on this stage, performing at the CCC's. Especially Nick's. It had been his heart's desire for over years now.  
I questioned myself.  
What was _my _dream?

**Yeah, it's bad. I wrote it in school and finished it in the middle of the night. It's pretty much a filler.  
Next chapter is probably the last. You'll see.  
Please review me, if you do, I'm sure I'll be posting sooner.**

**Love, Silver**


	14. how an angel found heaven

**:let's out a big sigh:  
well guys, this is it. The end of story of an angel.  
I'm really happy I did this, I feel really at peace right now. Everything worked out better then I thought. The puzzle pieces all came together and the end result has turned out great.  
I want to thank everybody who had read my story, especially the ones who reviewed!  
I love you guys so much!****  
Enjoy, **

Angel PoV

I was standing in front of the fireplace. I looked at pictures hanging above. Nick, Kevin and Joe as children. Riding bikes and smiling at the camera, visibly missing teeth. There were photos of their little brother Frankie and a few of their parents.  
I stared at each and everyone of them, not knowing the stories behind them. I thought about the pictures that always used to hang above the fireplace at the other house. Pictures of Stephen and me. Mom and Dad.  
I knew all of them had been shredded to pieces, their frames shattered and thrown away, but I still got the memories.  
Today was the day. My brother's big day, witch they had been rehearsing for for weeks.  
It was about 6:30 am. I usually woke up early. Not from nightmares, not anymore. I guess I was an early bird. Maybe it was the habit of getting out of bed early to get all my tasks done.  
I kept staring at the frames with family pictures. I noticed an empty spot in the middle of them all. I wondered what had been there. Maybe there had never been anything and the spot had just waited to be filled.  
I noticed a movement on my left side. I recognized it. Moment's later I was confirmed when Nick's familiar warm voice asked: 'hey, couldn't sleep either?'  
I turned around and nodded. He weakly smiled at me; I could guess why he couldn't sleep.  
The CCC's were bothering him; I couldn't say I could blame him. He had always wanted to perform there. Today, his dream was coming true.  
I smiled and he seemed to find some courage in it. 'I love you sis.' He said and hugged me.  
I stared at the fabric of his shirt for a moment, before he released me and went to the kitchen to make himself some breakfast.  
Embraces like this weren't abnormal for me anymore. Although I still treasured all of them. I began to think again.  
If my mother hadn't died, who would've said it then? Who would've loved me?

After I had joined Nick for his breakfast, leaving him alone so he could stress a little. That sounds harsh, but I knew he needed to stress a little. When he was on that stage eventually, he'd be perfectly fine.  
I went upstairs, to the boy's room and I jumped on Joe's bed. He shot up telling me that heaven was falling down.  
I laughed at him and his face when he realized the world was perfectly normal.  
'Hey Angel.' He said, yawning. 'What is it?'

I pointed at Nick's song desk; witch gave me another dumbstruck look. I sighed and walked towards the desk and held up Nick's song book.  
He understood. 'Oh.' Joe gasped. 'You want to help me with the Macy song!'  
That woke him up like a bucket of ice water.  
I took the notepad that was always lying on Nick's desk and wrote: _what kind of song do you want it to be?_  
He made a thoughtful expression and answered truthfully: 'I want it to represent what I feel for Macy.'  
_witch is?_  
'well...' He started.  
After that we spend about 4 hours writing the perfect song for Macy, representing what Joe liked about her.  
It turned out really well. I was sure she was going to like it.  
After Joe thanked me for like 2000 times, I finally got to my room. I walked to my desk, wanting to grab my usual notebook.  
Underneath it was my brown journal. I picked it up and looked at it.  
It contained my previous life, or at least, what previously had happened to me. My father, my mother, Stephen. Everything.  
I knew I hadn't belonged there. Neither had Stephen, but then again. Where did I belong?  
I looked away from the journal and put it in my backpack for the CCC's. I didn't really know why.  
After that I looked at the notepad. The secret song me and Nick wrote for Nick and Stella's duet was in it. Like a lot of other lyrics we'd come up with.  
This notepad contained a lot of what had happened here at the Jonas household. They had embraced me and thought of me as one of them.  
I highly doubted I was. I knew I was different from this happy, bubbly family. Still, they liked me. Loved me. I knew that, I loved every single part of it.  
I fitted here. Like I had fitted in the life I had before mom died. Where did I fit?

''—''—''—''—''—''

Here we were, at this years CCC stadium. I saw hundreds, maybe thousands of fans standing outside. Waiting to get in.  
A few spotted the limo and tried to see who was in it. They shouldn't have worried. It was just me, Macy and mom. Heading towards the artist's entrance.  
My brothers, Stella and dad had gone ahead of us. I really hoped Stella was going to do well, she had been very nervous when she and Macy had knocked on our door. Still, not nervous enough to forget me. She had given me the most amazing outfit ever. A dark green dress, fitting me perfectly. Reaching till just above my knees. The color made my eyes stand out even more.  
Around my neck hung a beautiful, but simple silver necklace with a beautiful emerald in it.  
My arms were bare, but I didn't care. People could see my scars, they were there, they were part of me. I didn't care. Not anymore.  
We exited the limo at the back of the stadium. Naturally, the boys and Stella were waiting for us.  
I hugged Nick, half comforting half greeting him. I could feel he was tense. Always the serious one.  
I saw Joe lift up Macy, spinning her around. Their dark hair flying around. I giggled.  
After Joe put Macy down, she hugged Stella. I figured Stella probably had quite some stress too.  
I wasn't worried; they were going to be great. This was Nick's dream after all. Nothing could go wrong at his dreams.  
We all went inside, backstage where we, together with all of the other artists, would be waiting.  
Stella's hands were being held down by Joe, because she was trying to bite her nails. Nick was passing by every few seconds. Pacing.  
Kevin was quite relaxed, just like mom. They knew this was going to be okay.

'_WELCOME LADIES AND GENTELMAN! TO THIS YEARS CELEBRIRY CHARITY CONCERT!!!' _the CCC host began speaking. '_THIS YEAR THE MONEY WILL GO TO ORPHONAGES ALL OVER THE COUNTRY!'_  
I felt all eyes lock on me. A grin spread over my face. This was a nice surprise.  
_'WE'LL START OFF WITH YOURS ONLY; LILY ALLEN!'_ The host yelled in the microphone.

One performer after the other went on stage, everything went smoothly. Stella and Nick got more nervous by the minute. Right now I was hugging Nick. Comforting him, while trying to get him to stay on his seat. Then, finally;  
'_AND NOW, THE CCC PRESENTS WITH PRIDE; THE JONAS BROTHERSSS!'_

All of the said Jonas Brothers jumped to action immediately, running towards the stage entrance. Kevin grabbing his guitar on the way.  
'omg, omg, omg omg…' I heard Stella chanting. I walked over to her and sat in between her and Macy.  
I patted her arm in comfort, telling her it would all be okay. She shot me a thankful look as the begin tune of Much Better started.  
It was the slow song, after this would come World War III to really get the crowd rocking. Nick had made an excellent choice.  
Both of the songs went perfect and the crowd was going crazy. They were chanting for more when my brothers went off stage, back to us.  
I heard the host tell them that there was going to be more where that came from, but I wasn't really paying attention.  
In fact I was hugging a very pleased Kevin. 'That. Was. Awesome.' He said.  
'absolutely.' Joe agreed. Nick was just staring off in space.  
I wasn't going to be the one to remind him that the most important song was yet to come. Although I did remind a certain Jonas Brother of a certain thing he had to do.  
I poked Joe in his side. He jumped slightly and turned around.  
'What?!' came my surprised response. I shot him a look, trying to get him to understand. This was the perfect time to sing the Macy song. In between his performance and his little brother's one.  
I pointed at Macy and he seemed to understand.  
He walked up to her and asked her something. After that they disappeared.  
The moment of truth, at least for Stella, came nearer and nearer. Not only she, but also Nick was eating up his fingernails.  
'wait!' Stella suddenly exclaimed. 'Where's Macy, she can't miss this. O god!' She shrieked.  
'Come on! Go find her then, there still is a little time.' Nick urged her and she quickly made her way towards a door.  
I looked up at Nick and smiled comforting. He smiled back, hugging me tighter. I didn't worry about anything, this was their night. Right?

''—''—''—''—''—''

Joe PoV

Angel had been right, as usual. Macy loved the song. She thought it had been 'fabletastic!' Her words, but hey, her song, right?  
Although I didn't think she liked the song as much as she liked me right now.  
Because, right now, she was kissing me. On my lips, right here, right now. Man, wasn't it fantastic. Her body pressed against mine, her hands in my hair.  
'Macy? Joe?' I heard someone yell. I thought I recognized the voice, but I didn't really mind right now.  
'MACE? JOE?!' I heard the voice, Stella? Yell again. 'Where are you, we're going to start in a few seconds!' I cursed inside my head.  
I broke the kiss and rested my forehead against Macies.  
'There you are!' Stella's voice said, relieved. I looked up and saw my best friend freaking out.  
'yeah, we're coming.' I said. 'We wouldn't want to miss it!' I smiled my trademark 'Joe' smile at her, but it didn't seem to work.  
'Come on Stells, we'll be there, it's going to be okay!' Macy told Stella.  
'Oh, god. I don't want this, I really don't want this.' Stella panicked.  
'what do you mean?' I asked confused, exchanging a look with Macy.  
'I don't like stages, I don't want to do this, but I can't quit now. I can't quit Nick!' She said, looking really afraid. 'I'm way better _behind_ the stage.' She whispered.  
'Aww, Stells!' I said, walking towards her and putting a comforting arm around her shaking shoulders, while Macy grabbed her hands.  
'You can do this, Nick's counting on you. You're Stella Malone remember. You can do anything, even if you don't want to!' I encouraged her.  
'Thanks.' She whispered and turned around and walking back.  
We shouldn't have let her do that while she was trembling and in full mode panick attack.  
She fell, bad, really bad. She hit her head and then the floor.  
She didn't move.  
'Stella?' I heard myself yell. 'STELLA?!'

''—''—''—''—''—''

Angel PoV

'Where is she, it's starting in 30 seconds, WHERE IS SHE!!' Nick panicked. Still holding on to my hand like it was going to safe his life.  
They had to go on stage; they had to perform on the CCC's for all those fans.  
I felt Nick stiffen when a crew person said: '10 seconds.'  
'Angel! What am I going to do? I have to sing a duet. You know the song; you can't sing it on your own!' He said. I've never seen him so flushed before.  
I patted his arm. I didn't know what to do either.  
'This is it. My dream and I've got nobody to sing with. Angel, this is going to be a disaster!' He whispered.  
'Nick? Nick Jonas!' the same crew member yelled. 'You got to go on stage!'  
I felt Nick's arms release me and I saw him go. My hands still reached for him. Still trying to help. I saw him walk away, looking down.  
He entered the stage, the light. Waving, smiling. I think I was the only one that saw it was fake. He sat down, on the chair. Looking down.  
Like he didn't belong on that stage anymore.  
I thought. Memories flashed before my eyes. My family, good memories, bad memories. The dream.  
They had been there. The three of them. I was missing in the picture.  
Pictures. Like the ones on the fireplace.

I heard the begin tunes of the song. I saw Nick move awkwardly. I knew what he was going to say: that his partner couldn't make it and all of that.  
I couldn't bear it, I couldn't see it.  
The one that had given me back my dreams lost his own most precious dream.  
Dreams, like the dreams, my nightmares. He had made them go away. He gave me a second chance. A blank page.  
Like the blank spot on the fireplace.  
The blank spot, my spot. That was where I belonged. Not with my old family. Not in my old life.  
Here, with my new family and friends. With mom and dad, Kevin, Joe, Macy and Stella.  
And most importantly, with Nick. That was where I belonged.  
I was home, I knew it. I felt it in every nerve of my body.  
Without thinking I stepped on stage…

Nick PoV

I sat there, thinking about all the good concerts I had. I mean, that was something right? I was sure everybody would understand why I wouldn't sing.  
I just couldn't accept it myself.  
This had been my dream, my goal for years.  
And then this happened, my dream. Shattered. I would never get to do this over.  
I heard the begin tunes of the song and prepared myself to start talking, because the voice that should start singing, never would start singing. Not on this stage.  
I was about to disappoint the fans and myself, when I heard, at exactly the right moment, a beautiful voice, singing the song.  
The voice sounded like a beautiful bell. Pure, clear and beautiful.

'_yeaah.'_ The voice sung softly. I looked up. There stood Angel. A microphone in her hands.  
No way

NO! Bloody way. She hadn't, she couldn't.

She had, for me.

She stood there, mic in her hand. Singing, breaking her silence. Singing for my dream. '_yeah!'_ Came her voice again.  
I just stared at her, amazed. I couldn't believe how pure and good her voice sounded.  
_'__ I know this isn't what I wanted' Angel's voice rang.  
'I never thought it'd come this far.  
Just thinkin' back to where we started.  
And how we lost all that we are.__'_

I was amazed how good this song fitted us. I started singing too. Slowly standing up and walking towards her.  
' We were young and times were easy.' I walked up to her, strumming the chords on my guitar. Not looking anywhere but her face.  
But I could see it's not the same  
I'm standing here but you don't see me  
I'd give it all for that to change.'

She did this for me. My precious angel. My sweet little sister, we sang a duet! I couldn't tell you haw happy I was at that specific moment. So I just continued singing

'And I don't want to lose her  
Don't wanna let her go!'

Our voices sounded beautiful. Following, asking and answering each other.

'_I'm standing out in the rain  
I need to know if it's over  
Cause I will leave you alone'  
_  
Angel sang. It seemed to come straight from her heard. This was our song, our story.

Flooded with all this pain  
Knowing that I'll never hold her

Then, we sang together. It was amazing. Our voices fitted together. They sounded as one.

'Like I did, before the storm  
before the storm'

Beautiful, the crowd was completely silent. Listening to us. To our story.  
The story of an Angel.

With every strike of lightning

_Comes a memory that lasts_

and not a word is left unspoken  
as the thunder starts to crash

_Maybe I should give up._

_I'm standing out in the rain  
I need to know if it's over  
Cause I will leave you alone_

Flooded with all this pain  
Knowing that I'll never hold her  
Like I did before the storm

_Trying to keep the lights from going out_

And the clouds from ripping out my broken heart  
We always say,  
A heart is not a whole  
Without the one who gets you through the storm

Standin' out in the rain  
Knowing that it's really over  
Please don't leave me alone.  
I'm flooded with all this pain,  
Knowing that I'll never hold you  
Like I did before the storm

Yeah  
Like I did before,  
The storm.

We ended the song, standing close together, bodies almost touching. Eyes locked. The public went wild, but we didn't notice.  
Angel spoke, for the first time ever.  
She said: 'just so you know, I love you too; I couldn't let them destroy your dream after you saved mine.' Then she smiled and took my hand, pulling me off the stage.

''—''—''—''—''—''—''—''—''—''—''—''—''—''—''—''—''—''—''—''—''—''—''—''—''—''—''—''

There sat mom, tears in her eyes. She shot up; hugging Angel like there was no tomorrow. 'Honey, you're, you've. You talked!' She sobbed.  
I saw dad rub his eyes, emotional too.  
Behind them sat my brothers, Stella and Macy. Stella had a bandage around her head, but she smiled brightly at me and Angel, who was released by mom.  
Like on command we all walked towards each other. Embracing. Not saying a word.  
We just hugged.

From that day on, the blank spot on the Jonas fireplace was filled with a picture of six friends, laughing at the camera. A dark haired, green eyed girl in the middle, smiling the brightest of them all.  
The spot was filled, never to be erased again. Never to know anything bad happen again.

That Saturday, Frankie Jonas stepped through the front door of the Jonas firehouse.  
'Hey! I'm back.' The youngest Jonas yelled. 'Did I miss something?'

**Fin**


End file.
